OH 2010..

By far this has been one of the most roller coaster years we've experienced.  And I must say not only I, but my husband has learned so much.  Not only about each other, but about ourselves.  So I am going back to Jan 2010:

In January things were looking so great for us.  We were financially stable, I had a job for two months already and In Nov of 2009 we had our traditional family wedding.  We were living in Aliso Viejo, California.  Derek was still in the military and we officially begun our countdown to civilian life. Derek was getting in this Dec, 2010.  So well I was working Derek went off to do Bridgeport Training in Hawthorne, the winter package so it was extremely cold where he was going. Little did we know what was going to happen soon after he got home.

At the end of Feburary, Derek returned from in 5 week long mountain warfare training. and boy was I excited to have him home.  Everything was perfect!.  Well when he got home from MWT Derek was advised that he would be going on, yet another, Deployment.. This time it was to Afghanistan.  My heart dropped.  I can remember exactly how it all happened, in detail.  I came home from work on a Friday, it was the day that we were supposed to go and file our yearly taxes.  We did too!.  anyways, I came inside and he looked like something was bothering him.  I asked him what was wrong and he told me he needed to tell me something.. I knew it wasnt good, whatever it was because he told me to sit down.  So I sat down and he told me that he just got off the phone with his chief.  He was advised that he would be leaving to Afghanistan in two weeks!! Talk about a train wreck.  Ok, so as I sat there in shock the tears started rolling.  I learned that two weeks was going to come like overnight to me, but luckily we had 13 days to prepare with what we were going to do.  As soon as he told me, I called my mom, my sister Vanessa, Brittany, and then Angela.  It was such a shock for everyone I told.  Well so it began.  we began making arrangements with what we were going to do.  I told my job that I was going to be leaving and I put my two weeks notice in.  After that we told the apartment complex that we were living in as well.  They needed proof of documentation of Dereks deployment so we had to get a letter from his commader showing he was in fact deploying.  Everything went so smooth.  WE had enough time to get a storage and throw all of our belongings in storage.  So by this time, we are now up to the date of Dereks departure.  And to be completely honest I wasnt scared. I knew that Derek would be covered, not only because WE serve a mighty God but because the power of a praying WIFE. So as we sat there in the car I just started praying for him, he was leaving me.  AGAIN. As we made our way out of the car, he checked in.  He got his weapon and from there we sat and we waited for the big ugly white buses to arrive.  Peace took over my body, and the boldness of God gave not only me, but Derek the courage to take this chapter in our lives.  The time had arrived,  The buses arrived and the boys started loading their gear and belongings. As I sat there I began to pray for my husband again..  it was his time to load the bus, and not one tear came.  I was shocked, but I knew it was the peace of God.  As we said our goodbyes I knew that me being alone would be a little easier than last time.  but I knew it was going to hit me eventually. As he drove off all Derek was doing was smiling, and I cant help but remember how in love I was with his smile.  and I knew, that on the day of his homecoming he'd be smiling exactly the same.  So I began to drive away, and yet again, I wasnt scared.  So here we are.  March.  On the 25th Derek left en route to Afghanistan and on the 26th I was back en route to Phoenix, AZ.

Since I was jobless I began watching my god daugther Mariah Adrielle Sanchez.  And all I can say is that through the duration of Dereks Afghanistan deployment this little girl kept me on my toes.  I started watching her at 4 months old, and to be quite honest and embarssed she was the first diaper I have EVER changed, gimme a break here! :) So time was slow throughout the first month of the deployment.  I was still attending the University of Phoenix so I was keeping myself busy with school and church. 

We were officially about halfway through Dereks deployment.  Now its June.  I was staying busy still, busting my butt to pay bills and to stay on top of things.  Things were going good and at this time I was a homecoming mode.  Derek was due back in July.

So here we are, July 2010.  I have never been more excited in July! ( one of the hottest months in AZ!)  Derek was due back actually at the end of June, but because of current conditions in Afghanistan that didnt happen.  Anyways I was excited to see my husband.  It was been a very easy yet long deployment to me, even though it was only 4 months.  He was in a battlefield and all I did was worry about his safety..  Throughout the duration of the deployment I kept in great touch with Dereks family.  And I asked them if they would want to be apart of the homecoming.  and of course, without a doubt they were honored to be apart of this sepcial day.  Along with Dereks family, My sisters and my mother came for the homecoming.  Which couldnt have been more perfect.

Day of HOMECOMING: July 4th, 2010.  What more perfect day to have marines and sailors return from overseas?  Anyways, being that Derek had no clue that I had his family and my family with me I had to be sneaky!  So Derek calls me in the wee hours of the morning advising me that he and all the guys were accounted for and have LANDED on American Soil, in Conneticut I think..  So he told me that he would be arriving promtly at around 11 am at Camp Pendleton.  And now it was already 8 AM!!! I was running behind!  so I jumped in the shower and started getting ready, my man was home from Afghanistan!!! yes!  Well by the time everyone got ready we were out of the hotel by 11! I thought we were going to miss homecoming.  so we sped all the way to base!  Luckily, Dereks buses were running late.  but we did arrive on time.. as we sat there playing the waiting game, the buses pull up.  it was time. As the boys marched in, I waited anxiously with so much pride and excitement.  I was beyond proud of my husband.  He served two back to back deployments.  As the boys continued walking up.. There he was, he didnt see me but I saw him.  I was coming, actually running in 5 inch heels but finally his eyes met mines..and that smile that I was dying to see was right in front of me again.  I didnt have to look at a picture anymore.  He was right in front of me.  I held my banner up.  gave him a big hug and a little peck.  LOL his family was there.  He was so shocked to see them and so happy to have Mariah there.  It was love all over again.  And since this moment we've been stuck at the hip. 

Now, August,  Derek was on post deployment leave so he got to spend 2 weeks in AZ with me.  and guess what we did... WE BOUGHT A HOUSE!!! We had been looking his whole deployment, I was sending him links via email.. but it just wasnt the same as it was having him home browse with me!  Anyways, we were approved with no problem.. and right now, we are two months from our house being completed. 

As for this year, I have personally learned that I know how to rely on God for all my needs.  He was my husband when Derek was absent.  He was the one who gave me the courage that I needed and the support that I needed too.  This year has been by far the hardest, but yet the best ever.  I am beyond thankful that my husband is home, for good.  He served 5 years in the United States Navy and now he is MINE. :)

In the last three months

In the last three months..

Well so much has changed in my life in the last few months and I don't even know where to begin.. So ill start right up until my husband departed from me. Feb of 2010 we were announced with the news that my husband would be deploying with 2/5. Before him being in 2/5 he was in 3/5 and him transitioning to another battalion happened within a blink of an eye. Nevertheless we both did what we had to do and we went with the flow, as soon as he transitioned that's when the news was announced he'd be heading to Afghanistan in less than a few weeks. Oddly enough, Derek decided to tell me this news on a Friday night, the night we went to file on 2009 taxes. As shockingly as it was I was a little disappointed not only because I wanted him home, but just because it seemed like he just got back from the his last deployment. Well, with him deploying so soon we had to figure out everything and what we were gonna do. So granted, my lovely amazing father and my awesome husband thought it would be best if I move back to Arizona for the time being, (without really telling me they decided that). I was so upset they decided this without consulting me, because I wanted to stay in SoCal, I had a great job I loved my instructors at school and I was set. So I was a little furious that they made the decision for me.. Well we had about 2 weeks to figure out what we were gonna do, well I ended up moving back to Arizona. Well, it was almost that time, and time flew by so fast, we ended up putting all of our belongings in storage, and I was heading home.. Well, Derek left on March 26th en route to Afghanistan, and on March 27th I began the long journey home, with our dog Molly Coco and a car full of the little things I needed. As time passed Derek landed in Ireland for a few days of having a flight lay over. And as I was trying to get my life squared away I instantly started missing him. Well, it was not too long that Derek officially arrived in Afghanistan and that's when it all started..

Weeks have finally started going by faster, I transferred from the southern california campus to phx and I was back on top of things. I heard from Derek often, and things were going good. I started watching my niece every single day. She's 6 months old now, and she has captured a piece of my heart that only she will ever have. In the last three months I've changed my decision about wanting to be a parent. Mariah has softened my heart beyond words. She has truly been a little inspiration to me, and because of her I want children! Ask me that last year about wanting kids I woulda punched you in your jugular. :-). But she has forever changed me.

On mothers day of this year, I asked my mother to forgive me of all the wrong I've done to her in my entire life. And to make me more accountable for my actions I asked her to forgive me in front of about 100 people. As I was asking my mother for forgiveness I cried, I have hurt her beyond words could possibly ever express and for that I am truly thankful for a mother who has never given up in her child, me. Since Mothers day of 2009 I am a forever changed woman.

In the past three months I have had to say bye to my awesome friends, watch some of them move home, get out of the military and some even help us pack our belongings for this deployment. Also, while being back in Arizona I learned that people change either for the better or for worse.. Most of the people that used to admire just aren't a part of my life anymore, and I'm totally okay with that now. Old friends die and new friends come.

With my husband gone, I have become better at a lot of things. I've become more independent on myself and doing things on my own. I'm not saying I don't need my husband, but just sometimes we need to go through a season to learn about yourself and watch yourself grow. And I've done that. I've changed a lot, a lot of my perspectives and desires. I have learned a newer meaning of love and marriage.

So, thanks deployment.. You've made my time well spent. As much as I hate you, thank you. I have an awesome family an absolutely amazing husband that I wouldn't trade for the world. I've learned things that take some married couples years to figure out. I've built more solid realtionships with my family that I've become more happy with life. I wake up in the morning with a smile on my face and a song in my heart. I've learned how to deal with the stressors that make people go crazy :-)

Tonight, I cried

Reality hit this evening when I really thought about it.... My husband is actually in Afghanistan. Man oh man. Tonight was Thursday night bible study. And it was on
Proverbs 3: 5-6. "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.". I must say that this deployment is much more challenging than
Last deployment. My husband is in a war zone. I am so scared for some reason and I know I know I know I should really be trusting in God knowing that he is covered by God.
My heart broke tonight, as much as I don't want to think about it, the fact of the matter is, is that my husband is doing great things. Man I miss him soo much.
I must say that it is true... You don't realize how much you got until its gone, this is true on so many levels


I love you sweetheart! You are the light of my life,
The most amazin man that I have met

Xoxox

Round 2-Afghanistan!

Day 1.

Alright, so my husband has been gone for almost two days now. Let me tell you this time saying "I'll see you later" was not as nearly as hard as it was last deployment. I felt so at peace when I told my husband I'll see you soon. I actually felt joy in my heart when I saw him for the last time. I thank God for His peace. I know I have a mighty man. and he is a BA at what he does.

Anyways to go on.... I officially moved everything out of the apartment and into storage where our stuff will dwell for the next couple months. It was so easy at moving everything out then instantly I got overwhelmed because I was sooo tired! But it went well. After that I filled the car, took a movie back, got some cash, grabbed a bite then I was on my way EAST to our home state AZ!

Yeah! so I made it to AZ! and Molly Coco did well with the drive.. that little rascal loved the air touching her little mouth.. It was so cute, it was like she was trying to bite the air. It was soo cute. I love my dog, she has kept me on my toes, cleaning up her poopie and peepee everywhere.. shes like a little leaky faucet. But... I love my little leaky faucet, my lil poopie girl, my lil bald headed hairy princess. :)

I am really starting to miss my husband but I know he is okay. Lately, people have been asking me where is Derek? boy that sure pisses me off when they say sorry that he's over seas! DON'T say sorry~! I know they mean right but c'mon man!.


I love you Derek, With all my heart!

May God continue to be with you. Let him guide you. Remember, you are the light of the world. :)

Its time.

We have officially locked everything up in storage, my last day of work is this friday. March 5th. I am starting to let all of this get to me. But at the same time I have mixed feelings. The apartment is completely empty, the other day after work I just sat in my car until D got home cause I didnt want to be inside alone.

I know that all things work together for the good of those who love the lord. I am just so terrified and I know I shouldnt let this affect me the way that this all has. :) on the brighter note, I get to see the family this weekend. We are going back to Zona to drop one of the cars pff.

Anyways. Its about that time we start wrapping everything up in Cali. :(

Getting ready

So Derek will be leaving in a 2 week period. That means that we have to pack, relocate all of our belongings to Arizona. Im really sad that I have to do this, I thought the only time I'd be moving back to Arizona is with Derek when he seperated from Active Duty. Im really not looking forward into the next several months. I kinda made myself cry this afternoon when I "googled" news in Afghanistan. so much bad stuff is going on over there and I now have to worry for my husbands life and proctection. My stomach turns when I think about the life out there. I am teriffied to death and I cant contain it. What am I supposed to do without him here? how am I supposed to go with my everyday life knowing that my husband is out in harms way?

Get Some 2/5

For those of you who read my posts, I know some of you do.. but I was given news yesterday evening that The Husband will soon be leaving to Afghanistan. Never did I thought he would have to leave me again. So this was quite a shocker to the both of us, and completely unexpected. So we have so much stuff to do! like plan my living arrangements, get dereks gear list situated. and school stuff arranged for me.

Soooo. his is officially on his pre-deployment leave. great huh?

not too much to say about this subject except ohhrah.

Oh joy. the military

Great, never would have I thought that Derek would have to face another deployment until last night. currently Derek is in Bridgeport and his stupid chief keeps questioning all the sr line guys about extending for afghanistan, which is a buncha BS if you ask me. 3/5 isnt supposed to be heading out until oct/now. Derek gets out in Dec. Dec 10th to be exact. Well come last night Derek advised me that his chief is going to make every attempt possible to get the guys in another battalion who is onward to deploy for a spring deployment. if you ask me its crap and a half. Derek isnt too happy about this. and the bad thing about all of this is me and D have been planning on what we have lined up for our civi life..

not too much that my mind is dwelling on..

I miss you so much it hurts

I know you come home very soon, but right now I feel so empty inside. I feel like a part of me is dying because your not here with me at this point of time. It sucks so bad to know that you come home next month, and me feeling like I'm loosing air when I don't speak to you. I miss you so much I hate this empty feeling

I love you more babe-o

Come home soon
Xoxox
The wife

oh, you wanna know when my husband comes home?

He comes home next month some time! Wooo! Yes its been a tough 6 months and finally its almost time to call this deployment over!! I can tell you of all the emotions that I've had, my crazy mood swings, my really bad pity fits, my times where I've just wanted to crawl in a hole and die! Well, I don't wanna bore ya. Right now I can't even sleep because I'm so anxious in knowing that my husband returns home. Its been so rough, but God is good, he's provided for the both of us and he made a way for me to make it this far. Through these past months I can look back and see how much I've grown so much and to be quite honest its been a massive amount. I came in with knowing nothing about the military and now I could try and give you ever definition my husband throws at me. I'm no longer a boot wife! :) well right now he's in a place that he necessarily doesn't wanna be in but he's so close to coming home he could really careless where he is. But ima try and get some shut eye. Until next time kids. Good night.
Berna

Love you husband!

whoa whoa whoa

First off.. Ovulating sucks! And to those guys out there (including my husband) who thinks cramps are funny. Shame on you. Aunt flow is in full affect. :-) well things are looking up for the most part, I mean God is so good! He knows just how much I can handle, we can handle. That his hand is never too short, its always within His reach. I can't begin to thank God enough for ALL that he has done. I am so thankful that he knows our hearts, he knows out thoughts, and he know just what were going through. Thank you God, for you've been so faithful.

About 70% of this deployment=ACCOMPLISHED!!!!!!! Whoa. I cannot begin to explain my excitement and my joy right now. I can hardly contain it!!

Well I don't have much to say today. Except God is good and I love my husband beyond anything ever fathonable.

I love you babe-o
Xoxo

Your wife.

and so it is..

Well I'm already beginning to feel that lonliness that I felt at the beginning of this deployment and he hasn't even left to this last excersise yet well he will be leaving again soon. And this will be the lonest afloat and I'm so terribly sad, we are at 5 months headed on 6 months here. And it just kills me to know that I won't be able to talk to him or see his smile that just melts my heart. I love him so much that I don't know what I do without this husband of mine. I love you babe-o and I know that ill be able to see the end of this..

Berna
The wife
Xoxoxo

I'm amazed

Well its the 19th and we are on to month 5 of this deployment. Never have I thought I would make it this far without having a nervoud breakdown or two. These past 4 months have been an emotional roller coaster. Everything that I thought wouldn't happen, did. And that's ok. Because everything is panning out perfect and I know if I have a positive attitude about everything, it will all be perfect. My husband comes home soon. But not soon enough. Currently he's preparing to head to Australia! Yes. That lucky man. Well I know he'd trade that to come home in a heartbeat. His birthday is next week. And I hope he has a good birthday, (yes, without me) :-).

Well I'm in Zona for the next 9 days. Angelica the baby sister graduates high school on thurs so I'm here for that. I can't believe it. My mom and dad have all hs grads and now working on college degrees.

Update on vanessa. (Vanessa is my older sister). Well she is 8 weeks and 4 days pregnant and 220 days to go. Her first trimester is coming to an end! And on to her 2nd one! I take her to the drs tomm! Oh my I an so anxious to see the ultrasound. So excited!

But nothing more to update, until tomm kiddos. Goodnight

I love you babe-o

The wife. Bern

its been forever and a day

So its been a while that I've updated this silly thing. Well everything is going absolutely fabulous! I have such an amazing husband. I'm quite delighted to have him in my life. It wouldn't be the same without him by my side, in my thoughts or in my prayers. He is my forever perfect man.

Well. Me and the husband finally started web caming it! And its quite awesome. Just seeing his smile makes my heart melt. I wish I could just touch his face and kiss him.I just touch the screen and wish he could feel my hands :-)

Well I don't have much time to update! I will update again verrrry soon!

blah

Its been a couple of days since I've updated! But the reason why is because I felt like I was repeating myself over and over. Lol so this should work for now. Happy cinco de mayo! Hahaha

Just kidding! I miss my husband!

That's all
Love you babe-o

The wife

Xoxoxox

missing my handsome gorgeous husband

The deployment for the most part seems like its getting easier and easier. I've officially started adjusting hearing from the hubsand every so often now. So its not too bad. I don't dramtically miss him like I used to. All crying. And crap like that. But I'm doing good. Of course, I still miss him more than ever but I'm doing good

Mixed feelings can just ruin your day

Alright so today was going good.. and out of no where my sister Vanessa said she had to tell me something.. so first thing I thought was oh man something is wrong... well she told me to go away from everyone so I could be alone.. well she sent me a picture message. and the picture message was a picture of a pregnancy test that showed pregnant!!! My sister is pregnant! and I am so happy for her and my brother in law.. this is prefect.. they just bought a house that should be done sometime in July/August. and I really couldnt be any more happy. She is so excited but so scared at the same time. But I am happy!

I will posts updates when they come.. but there is a picture of exactly what their kitchen is going to look like. .;-)

well after an eventful day.. (NOT) my husband is randomly online, on myspace and just decided to leave me a comment, but didnt feel the need to log on aim or yahoo messenger without me having to tell him? what the heck.. sometimes he just dont get that I literally wait hours and hours and days and weeks to hear from him. he is very inconsiderate and he does NOT realize it.. so its whatever at this point.. if he wants to continue acting like a douche bag that whatever. I dont even want to talk to him if hes going to act that way. .

I dont have anything else to say right now.

Shocked

I must say that tonight was rather unxpected and totally not predicatable. But my gracious handsome husband snuck in a 45 min conversation today. :-) my husband is far from amazing. He's so wonderful as a man but so great as a husband too. It had been since April 6th since we've last spoke to it was really unexpected to hear his soft soothing voice and his little precious laugh that just melts my heart. He sounded like he was in the next room. Which was nice cause most of the time it seems like he is a million miles away and sometimes that makes me feel a bit uneasy and he knows I hate that feeling. But he is doing well. He's only showered once since he's been in the Phils. Ill tell you what I really don't think any other branches compare... Were tough ones. Even though my babeos booty needs to be cleaned I still love him and his stinky ol self. :-)
He told me it rained pretty much the entire time while he was there so I was happy he didn't take any of his electronics to the field. Even though I told him he should cause hed be bored out there. Lol
Well anyway his company got in trouble because one of the guys lost a rifle out there!!! How does someone loose his life life? Oh yeah by drinking while working!! That's how. So that douche bag got the whole company in trouble! Dumb guys I swear. Foolishness
I think its so precious that when I don't talk to my husband he goes on and on about how much he's hates the field and marines and I just sit an listen to him talk and talk. Literally he could talk for days about how some marines are just ignorant douche faces. Haha. But he had a lot to say last night, even though I wish I coulda talked more. Just a tad. I'm happy but husband let loose and chatted away. Hey its not always you get to have you husband talk and talk. Ya know? So I soaked it up. So tomm he should be calling me same time. Tomm he is going out in the city to do me some shopping. He said he bought me a shirt that says like filipina or something like that. Omg only my husband would get something that was mispelt. I love him. He's so good to me. He tries really super hard to make me notice and usually all the time I notice without him even trying to get me to notice. :-)
Ahhh my husband made my night. I'm happy we spoke.

I love you. Babe-o
Good night my love

Xoxox
The wife

Miss my husband

well

So. I'm officially headed with the family up to Flagstaff for a weekend trip of camping. I haven't heard from Derek in almost 2 weeks and I feel like I'm dying inside. I started listening to certain songs and I'm getting more and more depressed. I've been so sad about not hearing from him. I miss him so much.

I haven't updated the past couple days cause the last couple days have sorta just been a blur to me. I'm just going through the motions right now and trying to hurry up and get to the next day and pray my husband calls me. Gosh I feel like I'm dying without hearing my husbands voice. I've accepted a while ago that he's not here but just the fact of him not calling and him being busy hurts me so bad. I feel like I'm slowly... Gahhh. I don't know it just sucks so bad.

In other news... I have a special birthday present for my husband! I can't wait to tell him. He's gonna be shocked when I tell him what he can do and buy. I sent out his special package which I know he will def enjoy (wink wink babe-o) ;-).

In other news I talked to the family readiness officer ssgt Pogue. He updated me on the guys and their status' and all that good stuff I am officially back in the loop of getting informatio every week on my guym and the other guys. The emails that I get put a smile on my face. :-)

Well. I'm about to take a nap.

I miss you husband!
More and more

Love you,
The wife.

What a day

Today was pretty much a blur. Boring as usual, actually I did hang out with my sister, got a hair cut and did some practice runs on the sisters for makeup for Angelicas prom. Woke up, did homework, took care of moms some more and pretty much called it a day today. I felt good after getting my hair cut that I went home. Fixed myself up put on makeup ans stepped out. It was nice. I hadn't worn makeup for a while, thought for a moment that I was loosing my touch, pfft yeah right, ill always have my makeup hands. :-)

Right now its about 1039 pm on Friday night and I'm hanging out with my baby sister watching 10 things I hate about you. Good cool movie. I am so bored lately. Not talking to my husband just plain sucks. And he knows that too. I always wonder how much my husband thinks about me throughout the day, what he thinks about and how many times he talks about me or how many time he looks at our pictures.

I don't have much to say tonight, I feel like I'm repeating myself constantly in these posts. My life is so amazingly boring.

I love you husband more than you will ever know

Love you babe-o
The wife

Xoxoxox