2011: Got Pregnant, Bought a House, Had a Baby, Graduated College.. GOOD YEAR!

Looking back on 2011 and how much has changed I just smile. At the beginning of 2011, to be exact January 17th, 2011 was the day I found out I was pregnant. And I knew at that instant our life would never be the same. I look back and I remember exactly how I told Derek that I was pregnant and his face I will never forget; and that one face he has only made once in the 5 years we've been together, the face was actually a "oh crap" face. classic! With the start of a new year and a new pregnancy we tired as much as we could to plan everything out right for 2011. And we did.

Jumping ahead to May, We are now 5 months pregnant. And Derek had his 24th birthday on May 26th, and two days later we finally got the keys to our brand new house. Derek and I bought a brand new home, well new to us. it was built in 2008, and we purchased the house for pennies on the dollar, literally. Some will probably think that its junky because of the price we paid but the house is absolutely beautiful. Everything from the sinks to the light fixtures to the cabinets to the tile, to the elevation everything was UPGRADED. :) We really got blessed with this house, we started looking at houses with our realtor in the beginning of March and it took us two months and probably about 16 bids of different houses for us to finally find the right one. And to be honest when we looked at this house, I had this feeling that it was going to be ours. And it was. To thank God more, we were under budget with what we wanted to spend on a house, actually about $40K under budget. God has been so good to us. :) And it was absolutely EVERYTHING we wanted in a home. Derek got his garage, and I got my two living rooms. This was just the beginning of how God worked in our lives in 2011.

Jumping up to August, now 8 months pregnant and ready for our baby shower. Let me just say, (even though it was my shower) I have NEVER seen more gifts at any baby shower than mine. we got EVERYTHING that we asked for on our registry + MORE. My parents bought us the ENTIRE nursery furniture (crib, changing station and dresser). Derek's father bought us the stroller and car seat, Derek's mom bought the swing and rock and play (the SWING is the best thing EVER INVENTED!) My sister Vanessa bought us the pack and play, Derek's aunts bought us the mattress and other stuff. so much stuff I can't even remember all of it.. but again, We were blessed. And God again provided our every need. We were set and FINALLY ready for baby girl. :)

My mom and Derek began painting the baby's nursery. We ended up doing a lady bug theme and I wanted candy apple red on the walls, and Derek refused to allow me to have candy apple red because he wanted yellow. and we finally came to an agreement and did yellow and a softer shade of red, the baby's room is Sun Devil colors! ha ha.

Finally, we are in September, and September 9th was the last day of work for me and my maternity leave finally kicked in. My estimated due date was September 23rd and I wanted to work until mid September, Derek didn't allow it. :)



FINALLY the event that marked it all was on September 25th 2011. We finally welcomed our little angel:

Zyana-Lee Grace Gonzalez, her name means, "Blessing from Heaven"

At 10:02 AM

19 Inches in length

7 Pounds, 3.2 ounces

You can read my BIRTH STORY HERE



It is so crazy how life happens. She sure is a blessing to our lives and I thank God daily that he granted her to us for this time.



So as we were in the hospital waiting for Zyana's arrival plus post baby I was doing homework the whole time. Now we are November, on November 3rd I had my 25th birthday. Yikes. I am halfway to 50 years old. That makes me a little sad thinking about that. LOL. Well, another major event took place on November 12th, 2011. I FINALLY finished my Bachelors degree. Through the midst of it all I never lost focus of what I have always desired to be in my life. And I wont stop here. Just because there's a new baby in my life don't mean that I have to stop with my education. I will continue and wherever I end up, Hey I did it. :) The day of my graduation I wanted to make my mom and dad proud, and I did. To some, a bachelors degree isn't such a big deal, but to us.. its a huge thing. lol



Now here we are December. December was the month that I got knocked up in 2010. December 17th 2010 is the day the deed was done, (If that bothers you that I'm this open, stop reading my blog :)) LOL. Anyway, we had our very first Christmas with our first child here and it will never be the same again. And we are happy about that.

So this year has been by far, hands down AWESOME.

I got pregnant, bought a house, had a baby and graduated college. I'm very excited to see what 2012 brings. Maybe, just maybe Zyana will be a big sister :)

This song just reminds me of my husband. HE does so much for me and baby girl.

Sanctus Real - “Lead Me”

I look around and see my wonderful life

Almost perfect from the outside

In picture frames I see my beautiful wife

Always smiling

But on the inside, I can hear her saying...

“Lead me with strong hands

Stand up when I can't

Don't leave me hungry for love

Chasing dreams, what about us?

Show me you're willing to fight

That I'm still the love of your life

I know we call this our home

But I still feel alone”

I see their faces, look in their innocent eyes

They're just children from the outside

I'm working hard, I tell myself they'll be fine

They're independent

But on the inside, I can hear them saying...

“Lead me with strong hands

Stand up when I can't

Don't leave me hungry for love

Chasing dreams, but what about us?

Show me you're willing to fight

That I'm still the love of your life

I know we call this our home

But I still feel alone”

So Father, give me the strength

To be everything I'm called to be

Oh, Father, show me the way

To lead them

Won't You lead me?

To lead them with strong hands

To stand up when they can't

Don't want to leave them hungry for love,

Chasing things that I could give up

I'll show them I'm willing to fight

And give them the best of my life

So we can call this our home

Lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone

Father, lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone

Its' a new season, It's a new day... A fresh anoiting... is coming my way!

Well its seems as though its been ages since I've last updated this blog so I thought I'd give everyone an update and let everyone know EVERYTHING. Well today I am 15 weeks and 5 days pregnant. Whoa! who would'a thunk? Crazy to think that im a little less than 6 months I am going to be a mom. I mean I know I rock at being an auntie, I LOVE being an aunt. I get little butterflies thinking about my neice throughout the day, that when I think how I will be as a mother I'm actually quiet scared about that one! I mean, we buy Mariah pretty much WHATEVER she wants and there is no problem to that but when I began to think, "is my child going to be a spoiled rotten brat?" LOL well we will hope not, actually I don't forsee myself being one of those mothers who lets their kid scream in the middle of a retail store because the kid didn't get that toy they wanted. Anyways, back to subject I am exctited. Hoping for the best.. Haven't gotten sick ONCE! well besides Hay Fever, pregnancy wise not once. And I am happy that I haven't. I am finally starting to show a baby bump. and people are beginning to rub my belly... (totally AKWARD) its weird when you have people just come up to you and start rubbing your belly in a circular motion, hey yo, give me a hug instead. Leave baby alone. :)




In other news my work hours have changed as of today, which I am not a fan of. I'm working 5am-4pm, Monday thru Friday with Weds off. Not too shabby, but going to school full time and work I'm not sure how that is going to cut it. I'm already tired because of this pregnancy so we'll see how it goes. I'm actually excited to have a day of rest off.



Derek and I began teaching the Jr.Youth group on Sundays and Thursdays at church. Sunday was our very first lesson with the kids, and I must say it was quite a success. I remember how I was when I was their age trying to be in church and learn the Bible. But the amazing thing about each and everyone of these kids is that they KNOW Jesus and the Bible. Our first lesson we decided it would be best to start from the beginning, where everything started, Genesis 1-2. Derek did the majority of the speaking but I mostly observed and listened (Let me say, God is so good. I never thought in a bajillion years that I would ever picture my husband teaching God's Word, and I was and still am impressed, he put a smile on my face) ANYWAYS, We taught on how God created the world in 6 days, and on the 7th day he rested. We only had 6 kids in the class and we each assigned everyone to read from the passage that we were doing the study on. At the end of the lesson, we had each kid draw a picture from one of the days God created something, I took the 7th day. Every single kid put so much effort in drawing something God created. It was actually amazing, cause these kids' minds are sponges. They just kept listening and asking questions. It was actually pretty cool and I'm so excited to see where God takes us next since we are officially apart of the Christian Education department at our church. :)

My husband

Derek and I have been meeting montly with our Sr Pastors, Pastor Jim and Freida.. we get with them and connect with them about our marriage/improvements/communication etc.  Well I love it. it gives us a chance to be completely honest with them and they are two of the most non judgemental people that I have had the pleasure knowing for almost the past, almost 20 years.  They have been given the honor to help me grow up and watch me change, be a bad kid, a rebelious teenager, be a new millitary spouse and so on.. Well they asked us to write 5 things that I love about my husband, (every week they give us an excercise to do) well this excercise has been fun!  5 things I loved turned into about 100!!!.. here is my list of things I love about my husband:

1.  He is extremely goal driven and probably the most selfless person I've known.

2. He always goes above and beyond when it comes to me and everything that he does for me.  He does everything wholeheartedly, 100% of the time.

3.  He uses his talents and Godly gifts like serving and it makes me proud knowing that he is more than willing to help anyone who needs it, without complaining.

4.  His smile.  Forever I will be in love with it.

5. He has the best heart I know,  completely real and is never ashamed to give the truth.

6. He trusts God with everything that he has, and it encourages my spirit man knowing that I have a husband who solely relies on God.

7. He does a great Michael Jackson and Spongebob impression.

8.  He is a constant encourager, even when he is going through things.

9.  His dimples!!!

10.  He is such a smart person.

11.  He loves and respects my parents.  and I honor that about him.

12.  I love how he falls asleep anywhere he is at in a matter of 2 mins.

13.  He tells me he loved me every morning when I leave for work @ 615 while he is still sleeping, he has never missed telling me. 

14.  He is a beyond wonderful communicator.

15.  He likes to run errands.  I love that!

16.  His warm body.

17.  My whole family loves him, including my 4 grandparents, all my uncles and aunts including my uncounted cousins. :)

18.  I love his eyes.

19.  The way he has gotten so involved in Church.

20.  He loves to read.

21.  His desire for children.

22.  He is and will remain faithful.

23.  He makes a great pot of coffee!

24.  He takes pride in everything he does,  I think its a military thing.

25.  He puts up with my obsessive organizational nature.

26.  He takes care of me, and never leaves me without.

27.  He waits for good things, like sales!!

28.  He is always real with me.

29. He is much more gifted than I am.

30.  He is always telling me that I can do it.

31.  He is a tender person.

32.  I'm secure when I'm with him.

33.  I love the way he douses himself in cologne.

34.  I love how he forgets things, its kinda cute and annoying at the same time.

35.  I love his ridiculous obsession with football and UFC.

36.  I love how he is so appriciative, he makes me feel so valued.

37.  He is a great present giver!!

38.  I love his cooking.

39.  He buys car  cleaning products that he rarely uses  but buys them to have them.

40.  I love the way he dresses, it makes my heart melt that he takes pride in how he looks...

41. ..........My heart melts even more when he has facial hair.

42.  I love how he always check-ups on me throughout the day through text and phone calls.  I love that.

43.  I love how he is a bloody hard worker.

44.  I love how he is always up for a good movie.

45.  I love how he pauses a movie when I leave the room.  Its kinda cute.

46.  I love how he likes to go grocery shopping.

47. I love him because God was gracious enough to give me my husband.

48. I love that I get to wake up in his arms every morning and not have to worry about seperation like deployments anymore.

49.  He preaches the Gospel with an incredible amount of passion.


50. He is more than willing to follow  me anywhere, even into a girls bathroom to make sure I am alright.


51.  His idea of romance is a candlelight dinner, soft music, dancing, just the two of us.
 
52.  I love that he isnt perfect, but in spite of that I know that God made him perfect for me and only me.
 
53.  I get butterflies when he wears hats and sunglasses.  ohhh. :)
 
54.  I love that when we are walking on a sidewalk I have to walk on the side of him furthest from the street so I can't get hit by a car.  He is so caring! :)
 
55.  He looks so sexy dressed up for church,  he is MY little preacher man!
 
56. The way he strives beyond belief to tell others about Jesus.


57. He is not embarrassed to call me pet names in front of others.


58. How he always puts me before himself.


59.  I love the way he tries to explain football to me when I really don’t understand.


60. We can glance at each other from across the room and know what each other is thinking.
 
61. He loves to take showers together.


62. I love how he wants to make up after a fight.


63. I love that When I am grumpy, he still loves me.


64. He is so incredibly understanding with my little obsession with blogging.
 
65. He never stays mad at me.

66. I love that he kisses me for no reason at all.

67. He lets me warm up my cold feet against his leg and doesn’t complain once.

68.  I love that he fought this country to protect MY freedom and YOURS.  I think thats something!

69. He likes my boobs.

70. He buys me presents just because.

71. He takes such good care of me when I’m sick.


72. When I’m having a bad day, he always does extra for me and lets me rest.

73. He likes to have fun but is frugal.

74. I love that he does the dishes all the time (ALL THE TIME), WITHOUT complaining.

75.  I love how he is a Big little kiddo.

76.  I love the way he proposed to me, I get butterflies thinking about it.

77. The way that he always comments when I dress up for him,  He thinks I am soo sexy.  even though he knows I HATE the word SEXY. LoL

78.  His willingness to sacrafice anything for me.

79.  He always gives me the benefit of the doubt. :)

80. I love how he eventually buys me everything I want, eventually.  Even when I'm not with him.  He doesnt forget.  :)

81. I love the way that if he could, He would buy me a planet. :) Yes, he is that great of a husband.

82.  I love the way that he understands my relationship with my sisters. 

83. I love that you like to take naps.  Makes me feel like I'm not the only one always tired. :)

84. He loves to grill.

85. I love how he is unbelievably close to my father.  He is like his manfriend.  Its cute.

86.  I love how he has to always call my dad to get a second voice on things.  I admire it actually.

87. I love how he is not afraid to correct me, even though sometimes I am wrong. hehe.

88. I love that he loves our neice.  It just gives me a glimpse of how wonderful of a father he will truly be.

89.  He knows exactly what to do to get me out of a bad mood.

90.  I love how we are soo much alike.

91.  I love that he can talk without speaking when he is upset, he has a little cute evil eye he gives me. :)

92.  I love that he  has a insurmountable amount of faith.

93. He always makes me feel like the best is yet to come.

94. He is simply irresistible.  I mean I am extremely crazy about him.  :)

95. He truly inspires me to be a better wife.

96.  I love how he can be a little macho.

97.  I love that he is willing to make my lunch in the early wee morning hours.

98.  I love that he is so in love with me.

99.  I love that God created him for ME.

100.  I love that he is the best husband in the world for me.  He has an unsurpassable amount of love for me and will do whatever it takes to provide for me.

Here is my 100 things I love about my husband.  

OH 2010..

By far this has been one of the most roller coaster years we've experienced.  And I must say not only I, but my husband has learned so much.  Not only about each other, but about ourselves.  So I am going back to Jan 2010:

In January things were looking so great for us.  We were financially stable, I had a job for two months already and In Nov of 2009 we had our traditional family wedding.  We were living in Aliso Viejo, California.  Derek was still in the military and we officially begun our countdown to civilian life. Derek was getting in this Dec, 2010.  So well I was working Derek went off to do Bridgeport Training in Hawthorne, the winter package so it was extremely cold where he was going. Little did we know what was going to happen soon after he got home.

At the end of Feburary, Derek returned from in 5 week long mountain warfare training. and boy was I excited to have him home.  Everything was perfect!.  Well when he got home from MWT Derek was advised that he would be going on, yet another, Deployment.. This time it was to Afghanistan.  My heart dropped.  I can remember exactly how it all happened, in detail.  I came home from work on a Friday, it was the day that we were supposed to go and file our yearly taxes.  We did too!.  anyways, I came inside and he looked like something was bothering him.  I asked him what was wrong and he told me he needed to tell me something.. I knew it wasnt good, whatever it was because he told me to sit down.  So I sat down and he told me that he just got off the phone with his chief.  He was advised that he would be leaving to Afghanistan in two weeks!! Talk about a train wreck.  Ok, so as I sat there in shock the tears started rolling.  I learned that two weeks was going to come like overnight to me, but luckily we had 13 days to prepare with what we were going to do.  As soon as he told me, I called my mom, my sister Vanessa, Brittany, and then Angela.  It was such a shock for everyone I told.  Well so it began.  we began making arrangements with what we were going to do.  I told my job that I was going to be leaving and I put my two weeks notice in.  After that we told the apartment complex that we were living in as well.  They needed proof of documentation of Dereks deployment so we had to get a letter from his commader showing he was in fact deploying.  Everything went so smooth.  WE had enough time to get a storage and throw all of our belongings in storage.  So by this time, we are now up to the date of Dereks departure.  And to be completely honest I wasnt scared. I knew that Derek would be covered, not only because WE serve a mighty God but because the power of a praying WIFE. So as we sat there in the car I just started praying for him, he was leaving me.  AGAIN. As we made our way out of the car, he checked in.  He got his weapon and from there we sat and we waited for the big ugly white buses to arrive.  Peace took over my body, and the boldness of God gave not only me, but Derek the courage to take this chapter in our lives.  The time had arrived,  The buses arrived and the boys started loading their gear and belongings. As I sat there I began to pray for my husband again..  it was his time to load the bus, and not one tear came.  I was shocked, but I knew it was the peace of God.  As we said our goodbyes I knew that me being alone would be a little easier than last time.  but I knew it was going to hit me eventually. As he drove off all Derek was doing was smiling, and I cant help but remember how in love I was with his smile.  and I knew, that on the day of his homecoming he'd be smiling exactly the same.  So I began to drive away, and yet again, I wasnt scared.  So here we are.  March.  On the 25th Derek left en route to Afghanistan and on the 26th I was back en route to Phoenix, AZ.

Since I was jobless I began watching my god daugther Mariah Adrielle Sanchez.  And all I can say is that through the duration of Dereks Afghanistan deployment this little girl kept me on my toes.  I started watching her at 4 months old, and to be quite honest and embarssed she was the first diaper I have EVER changed, gimme a break here! :) So time was slow throughout the first month of the deployment.  I was still attending the University of Phoenix so I was keeping myself busy with school and church. 

We were officially about halfway through Dereks deployment.  Now its June.  I was staying busy still, busting my butt to pay bills and to stay on top of things.  Things were going good and at this time I was a homecoming mode.  Derek was due back in July.

So here we are, July 2010.  I have never been more excited in July! ( one of the hottest months in AZ!)  Derek was due back actually at the end of June, but because of current conditions in Afghanistan that didnt happen.  Anyways I was excited to see my husband.  It was been a very easy yet long deployment to me, even though it was only 4 months.  He was in a battlefield and all I did was worry about his safety..  Throughout the duration of the deployment I kept in great touch with Dereks family.  And I asked them if they would want to be apart of the homecoming.  and of course, without a doubt they were honored to be apart of this sepcial day.  Along with Dereks family, My sisters and my mother came for the homecoming.  Which couldnt have been more perfect.

Day of HOMECOMING: July 4th, 2010.  What more perfect day to have marines and sailors return from overseas?  Anyways, being that Derek had no clue that I had his family and my family with me I had to be sneaky!  So Derek calls me in the wee hours of the morning advising me that he and all the guys were accounted for and have LANDED on American Soil, in Conneticut I think..  So he told me that he would be arriving promtly at around 11 am at Camp Pendleton.  And now it was already 8 AM!!! I was running behind!  so I jumped in the shower and started getting ready, my man was home from Afghanistan!!! yes!  Well by the time everyone got ready we were out of the hotel by 11! I thought we were going to miss homecoming.  so we sped all the way to base!  Luckily, Dereks buses were running late.  but we did arrive on time.. as we sat there playing the waiting game, the buses pull up.  it was time. As the boys marched in, I waited anxiously with so much pride and excitement.  I was beyond proud of my husband.  He served two back to back deployments.  As the boys continued walking up.. There he was, he didnt see me but I saw him.  I was coming, actually running in 5 inch heels but finally his eyes met mines..and that smile that I was dying to see was right in front of me again.  I didnt have to look at a picture anymore.  He was right in front of me.  I held my banner up.  gave him a big hug and a little peck.  LOL his family was there.  He was so shocked to see them and so happy to have Mariah there.  It was love all over again.  And since this moment we've been stuck at the hip. 

Now, August,  Derek was on post deployment leave so he got to spend 2 weeks in AZ with me.  and guess what we did... WE BOUGHT A HOUSE!!! We had been looking his whole deployment, I was sending him links via email.. but it just wasnt the same as it was having him home browse with me!  Anyways, we were approved with no problem.. and right now, we are two months from our house being completed. 

As for this year, I have personally learned that I know how to rely on God for all my needs.  He was my husband when Derek was absent.  He was the one who gave me the courage that I needed and the support that I needed too.  This year has been by far the hardest, but yet the best ever.  I am beyond thankful that my husband is home, for good.  He served 5 years in the United States Navy and now he is MINE. :)

In the last three months

In the last three months..

Well so much has changed in my life in the last few months and I don't even know where to begin.. So ill start right up until my husband departed from me. Feb of 2010 we were announced with the news that my husband would be deploying with 2/5. Before him being in 2/5 he was in 3/5 and him transitioning to another battalion happened within a blink of an eye. Nevertheless we both did what we had to do and we went with the flow, as soon as he transitioned that's when the news was announced he'd be heading to Afghanistan in less than a few weeks. Oddly enough, Derek decided to tell me this news on a Friday night, the night we went to file on 2009 taxes. As shockingly as it was I was a little disappointed not only because I wanted him home, but just because it seemed like he just got back from the his last deployment. Well, with him deploying so soon we had to figure out everything and what we were gonna do. So granted, my lovely amazing father and my awesome husband thought it would be best if I move back to Arizona for the time being, (without really telling me they decided that). I was so upset they decided this without consulting me, because I wanted to stay in SoCal, I had a great job I loved my instructors at school and I was set. So I was a little furious that they made the decision for me.. Well we had about 2 weeks to figure out what we were gonna do, well I ended up moving back to Arizona. Well, it was almost that time, and time flew by so fast, we ended up putting all of our belongings in storage, and I was heading home.. Well, Derek left on March 26th en route to Afghanistan, and on March 27th I began the long journey home, with our dog Molly Coco and a car full of the little things I needed. As time passed Derek landed in Ireland for a few days of having a flight lay over. And as I was trying to get my life squared away I instantly started missing him. Well, it was not too long that Derek officially arrived in Afghanistan and that's when it all started..

Weeks have finally started going by faster, I transferred from the southern california campus to phx and I was back on top of things. I heard from Derek often, and things were going good. I started watching my niece every single day. She's 6 months old now, and she has captured a piece of my heart that only she will ever have. In the last three months I've changed my decision about wanting to be a parent. Mariah has softened my heart beyond words. She has truly been a little inspiration to me, and because of her I want children! Ask me that last year about wanting kids I woulda punched you in your jugular. :-). But she has forever changed me.

On mothers day of this year, I asked my mother to forgive me of all the wrong I've done to her in my entire life. And to make me more accountable for my actions I asked her to forgive me in front of about 100 people. As I was asking my mother for forgiveness I cried, I have hurt her beyond words could possibly ever express and for that I am truly thankful for a mother who has never given up in her child, me. Since Mothers day of 2009 I am a forever changed woman.

In the past three months I have had to say bye to my awesome friends, watch some of them move home, get out of the military and some even help us pack our belongings for this deployment. Also, while being back in Arizona I learned that people change either for the better or for worse.. Most of the people that used to admire just aren't a part of my life anymore, and I'm totally okay with that now. Old friends die and new friends come.

With my husband gone, I have become better at a lot of things. I've become more independent on myself and doing things on my own. I'm not saying I don't need my husband, but just sometimes we need to go through a season to learn about yourself and watch yourself grow. And I've done that. I've changed a lot, a lot of my perspectives and desires. I have learned a newer meaning of love and marriage.

So, thanks deployment.. You've made my time well spent. As much as I hate you, thank you. I have an awesome family an absolutely amazing husband that I wouldn't trade for the world. I've learned things that take some married couples years to figure out. I've built more solid realtionships with my family that I've become more happy with life. I wake up in the morning with a smile on my face and a song in my heart. I've learned how to deal with the stressors that make people go crazy :-)

I miss you..

Today was one of those days where I did my hardest to stay busy. Didnt really help when all I was thinking of was you, and that smile that I am in love with. I'm trying to stay strong but I don't see this getting any easier right now. I just miss you, I mean I know it's only a couple months but man, today is one of those days where I just want to cry because you arent here to tell me everything is going to be okay. I'm having problems transferring to AZ with univ of phx. They told me that my account was in default and in order to transfer I need to pay everything in full. I dont know who people think they are when they tell people that crap... like I have thousands and thousands of dollars to just fork over.. I wouldnt have that problem that I'm having if I had a buttload of freaking money. Stupid people wont call me back, email me back. nothing. Stupid people make it hard for us students to finish an education when no one is helping them along the way. Anyways, Nothing else is really new except that I looked for jobs and posted my resume to a lot of great places. It took me about 2 hours to fill out the application for American Express. I even had to do a simulation to see how well I was with customer service. I hope someone calls me back soon... at least to get an interview so I know someone is looking at my resume.

Today I watched Mariah all on my own and I must say I got a good hand now changing really bad poopy diapers. She is getting so big. She is shaking her head yes and no now! it is so crazy. She stands on her own and wants to always be sitting up. She is so precious. I look forward to waking up in the morning just to hold her and be with her.. She makes my heart happy and I love her sooo much.


Today Molly Coco lost her first tooth! yes! poor dog was playing with her mouth like something was in it. When I decided to look I opened her mouth and there was a baby tooth hanging by like just a little bit.. I showed Vanessa and I told her to pull it.. and she did.. now our puppy is a little toothless.. I saved the tooth. Vanessa told me to send you her tooth in a letter. I thought that was kinda funny. Molly is getting so micheivious being around Lola and trouble. She doesnt listen for nothing. Its kinda funny, but then it's not because she doesnt pay attention.. lol. But either way, I love my lil cute puppy. She makes me soooo happy. and I love her sooo much too!

Anyways, I dont have anything else to really update or say except I miss you sooooo much! I love you beyond belief! you are the light of my life and I am so proud of you.

I love you ,
Bernadette

Missing my husband doesnt get easier

I really miss that wonderful man of mine. I have been trying my hardest to keep busy. Today I hung out with Chris, we went to B dubs LOL and watched Chris shop. Not too much today. Omg Molly is learning that she can bark at anything and everything just because she can and I wont do anything about it. She is sooo cute. Man I love my cute dog. She is getting so mischevious though that its cute. :)

Other than that, I forgot how much allergies I have when I am here. I feel like scratching my nose off when I am in the shower that is how bad I itch. It is horrible. plus, I am officially cutting back on the coffee that I am having major withdrawls. Its getting better but the headaches just make me want to sleep.

Update on nana. She is doing well, visited her today with Chris and she is improving drastically. The pics of her car are crazy. Everyone keeps saying we dont know how she is still alive. she is a miracle. Today she began her physical therapy. She was in so much pain but she is making progress. She asked me and chris to buy her gum. yes gum :) you know how she is.. :)

Other than that, I know Im blabbering but I dont have much to say tonight except I love you, I miss you terribly. :)

Tonight, I cried

Reality hit this evening when I really thought about it.... My husband is actually in Afghanistan. Man oh man. Tonight was Thursday night bible study. And it was on
Proverbs 3: 5-6. "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.". I must say that this deployment is much more challenging than
Last deployment. My husband is in a war zone. I am so scared for some reason and I know I know I know I should really be trusting in God knowing that he is covered by God.
My heart broke tonight, as much as I don't want to think about it, the fact of the matter is, is that my husband is doing great things. Man I miss him soo much.
I must say that it is true... You don't realize how much you got until its gone, this is true on so many levels


I love you sweetheart! You are the light of my life,
The most amazin man that I have met

Xoxox

Molly Moomoo

It's crazy living back home, it's almost like everything went back to how it was.... except now I am married and have a little fur ball with me everywhere I go... and of course Derek isn't here currently. So yesterday I took Molly mo to get her first real hair cut and to the vet. I told the people at pets mart to call me if they needed me. well, they did call me to come get her... she was done but I knew that molly bothered them because the lady sounded irratated with Molly. I asked the lady what was wrong, she said we found out that Molly hates the blow dryer. :-) As much as I wanted to be mad a molly I smiled, she is so funny.. It's crazy how she has a personality similar to me.. fiesty. :)

anyways after the haircut I took Molly to the vet. We waited ( me and Christopher) for about 50 minutes to see the vet for 10 minutes. Anyways, while we waiting there was about 10 other dogs waiting to be seen by the same guy. Chris whispered into my ear and said, "The dogs in here sure do look like their owners." So true! fat lady in there with a obese dog being seen because he's weezing! Sorry to burst your bubble ma'am but the reason your dog is like that is because he is overweight. hahaha Another dog was big and tall, the Lassie dog.. You could tell she was sick, anyways her coat was so long it was dragging on the floor, she shook and stood up and (we counted) 7 ticks fall off the dog! nasty. People don't take care of their pets.. gross.. so after I saw the ticks and fur everywhere I kinda grossed myself out. I was disgusted by the time we left that place. Anyways, Molly is finally being seen and they tell me she has allergies and that I have to give her 12.8 miligrams of childrens benadryl twice a day... plus she has that kennel cough still.. and he gave me penicillian for her twice a day. But shes okay! she is caught up on shots until next year. :)

After I left the vet I went to mom and dads, sat outside with mom and let molly run around. I gave her, her medication of the benadryl and the penacillian. she did NOT like the Penacillian. She was running around playing around I think she got bit by somethitng or she had a reaction to the shots or the medicine I gave her. I dont know but she freaked me out like she normally does... buy dad said its probably because she had a stressful day of going everywhere.. but shes fine now.. that was my day yesterday.

Anyways today, loooked for a job. did homework and watched the baby. My nana lucy got into a car accident today. She had very serious injuries. She fractured 3 ribs and had some internal bleeding. I'm actually gonna be heading to the hospital right now with my sisters and dad.. mom is already there. I guess my nana went to south phx today and she was supposed to be back to the house early morning time, she didnt and my tata got worried and he didnt find out she was in a car accident until 2 o'clock pm. Then my mom called us and freaked us out too.

Well. I am off. I miss you so much its crazy. I am praying for you. stay encouraged and be strong. I love you so much

Round 2-Afghanistan!

Day 1.

Alright, so my husband has been gone for almost two days now. Let me tell you this time saying "I'll see you later" was not as nearly as hard as it was last deployment. I felt so at peace when I told my husband I'll see you soon. I actually felt joy in my heart when I saw him for the last time. I thank God for His peace. I know I have a mighty man. and he is a BA at what he does.

Anyways to go on.... I officially moved everything out of the apartment and into storage where our stuff will dwell for the next couple months. It was so easy at moving everything out then instantly I got overwhelmed because I was sooo tired! But it went well. After that I filled the car, took a movie back, got some cash, grabbed a bite then I was on my way EAST to our home state AZ!

Yeah! so I made it to AZ! and Molly Coco did well with the drive.. that little rascal loved the air touching her little mouth.. It was so cute, it was like she was trying to bite the air. It was soo cute. I love my dog, she has kept me on my toes, cleaning up her poopie and peepee everywhere.. shes like a little leaky faucet. But... I love my little leaky faucet, my lil poopie girl, my lil bald headed hairy princess. :)

I am really starting to miss my husband but I know he is okay. Lately, people have been asking me where is Derek? boy that sure pisses me off when they say sorry that he's over seas! DON'T say sorry~! I know they mean right but c'mon man!.


I love you Derek, With all my heart!

May God continue to be with you. Let him guide you. Remember, you are the light of the world. :)

So much to update on!

Ok, I have been so busy lately getting everything ready for Derek to leave. MY last day of work was on March 5th!. booooo. Since March 5th we have massively emptied our entire apartment! everything is in storage and packed away. Our last day in our apartment is March 25th! my how time flies by soo fast! Derek bought me a lil doggy! Her name is Molly Coco Gonzalez. She is 3 months old! she is a lhasa apso. And I love her soo much. She is the best little puppy that I have ever seen and she is mine! I took her to her first Vet's appointment and she has an ear infection in the right ear. and lately, well, within the last couple of days she has been coughing so much. almost like she is gagging. I told the vet and she said it doesn't hurt her? I think it still might be kennel cough but I just don't want her little body to be hurting. or for her to choke. I just feel so helpless. I want to help her and take it away.

Anyways, My D got another tattoo last weekend. 1 Samuel 17:52 on the inner arm on his right side. It is actually very nice. I like it. It represents him how he feels before leaving to Afghanistan.

Anyways, I cant think of anything else to update on... until next time.
Bernadette

Its time.

We have officially locked everything up in storage, my last day of work is this friday. March 5th. I am starting to let all of this get to me. But at the same time I have mixed feelings. The apartment is completely empty, the other day after work I just sat in my car until D got home cause I didnt want to be inside alone.

I know that all things work together for the good of those who love the lord. I am just so terrified and I know I shouldnt let this affect me the way that this all has. :) on the brighter note, I get to see the family this weekend. We are going back to Zona to drop one of the cars pff.

Anyways. Its about that time we start wrapping everything up in Cali. :(

Getting ready

So Derek will be leaving in a 2 week period. That means that we have to pack, relocate all of our belongings to Arizona. Im really sad that I have to do this, I thought the only time I'd be moving back to Arizona is with Derek when he seperated from Active Duty. Im really not looking forward into the next several months. I kinda made myself cry this afternoon when I "googled" news in Afghanistan. so much bad stuff is going on over there and I now have to worry for my husbands life and proctection. My stomach turns when I think about the life out there. I am teriffied to death and I cant contain it. What am I supposed to do without him here? how am I supposed to go with my everyday life knowing that my husband is out in harms way?

Get Some 2/5

For those of you who read my posts, I know some of you do.. but I was given news yesterday evening that The Husband will soon be leaving to Afghanistan. Never did I thought he would have to leave me again. So this was quite a shocker to the both of us, and completely unexpected. So we have so much stuff to do! like plan my living arrangements, get dereks gear list situated. and school stuff arranged for me.

Soooo. his is officially on his pre-deployment leave. great huh?

not too much to say about this subject except ohhrah.

Some interesting facts.

1. I hate anything minty.

2. Citrus and pepper make my allergies go crazy.

3. I get really bad headaches from certain spices. ie. pepper.

4. My mom said that I have a natural scent of cinnamon.

5. I yawn probably 50 times a day. even when I aint tired.

6. I was told by my mom I was dropped on my head when I was a baby, she says that only when I say ignorant things. :)

7. I love tea and coffee.

8. A good book is the way to my heart.

9. I enjoy praying. praying is like a hobby of mine. :)

10. I became an auntie on Dec 16th, 2009 to the most beautiful baby I have ever laid eyes on.

11. I am married to an amazing person who has really pushed me to get to where I am today.

12. I bite my nails, its a really nasty bad habit, and really un lady like. but Im trying to stop.. hey at least I dont smoke right!? :

13. I am the middle child of the family.

14. and probably the one who was most spoiled as a child.

15. I have a minor obsession with Guess watches. I own like 13 going on 27.

16. I love my wedding ring, its the most significant item I own.

17. I want to join the Marines, but my husband refuses to let me join.

18. I have some pretty remarkable friends. and the few I have I wouldnt change them for anything.

19. The person who has ever had to most influence in my life happen to be My pastor for life. Pastor Jim Brown.

20. I have a cadillac, no I'm not spoiled. Im just blessed with great things.

21. This is weird, but I am terrified of seaweed at the beach. I feel like it could just wrap my body up and drown me.. DONT LAUGH!

22. Im in school to be a dr. and with God ALL things are possible.

23. I am absolutely mortified to have a child, when that day comes.

24. I always wanted bigger lips. I want collagen.

25. I have some crazy stories about me as a child. crazy unbelievable stories.

26. my dream is to visit Eygpt one day.

27. My favorite cruse word, that I dont say is: Jag-off (a Chicago regionalism) ITS NOT BAD PEOPLE.

28. I hate, cannot stand chocolate but I have a sweet tooth anyday for butterfingers.

29. I hate sad movies.

30. I cannot function correctly if I do not have my morning coffee.

31. I get real worried when I think about my future. and my age.. lol

32. I love reading biographies.

33. I like learning new words. weird, yes.

34. I am secretly in love with Terrance Howard and Denzel Washington. Yes, my husband does know this. :)

35. I rarely remember my dreams. This has not always been the case.

36. I've laughed so hard that I've peed in my pants on several different occasions. last was with Brittany.

37. Obama should not be president. End of story.

38. I have always found books about serial killers interesting. I know weird huh?

39. one of several ongoing passions of mine is: driving.

40. My mother is one of th greatest singers that I have ever listened to. she amazes me everyday.

41. I love the sound of the ocean.

42. What turns me off: Close-mindedness, gossip meant to hurt somebody

43. The first word I learned to spell was: Transportation.

44. I hated long division math when I was a kid, actually, I still hate it.

45. I hate video games, last I played was with Derek from there on I had bad dreams about zombies chasing me.. Medal of honor I believe.

46. I like to sleep with 6 pillows.

47. I could by a pair of shoes every day if I could.

48. Orchids and red long stem roses are my favorite.

49. I love Davidoff Cool Water. dont get me started...... :)

50. I spent my 21st birthday in San Deigo with Derek. Thats all I can remember. haha.

51. I want to expierence a Mardi Gras. just once.

52. My last name is Gonzalez, and my husband is a white boy. strange huh! :)

53. I dont accept Michael Jackson being dead. HE is my favorite.

54. I cant stand when Im waiting in line and I can feel the person behind me breathing on me.

55. I hate being placed on hold.

56. I hate ironing.

57. I cant stand Spencer Pratt. that guy is a douche.

58. I love the Bee Gees beyond words.

59. people say Im strange. I dont get why? haha

60. I want to own a pool when I purchase a home.

61. I believe everything that the Bible says.

62. I guess I grind my teeth when I sleep. thats a no no.

63. I hate fastfood.

63. My sister Vanessa makes fun of my toes, she calls them french fries.

64. my baby sister will be a marine. some day.

65. I am so proud of my family. they are wonderful in every way possible.

66. I think Kim Kardashian is absoultely stunning.

67. I always wanted to own a pinto.

68. but then again, my dream car is a Range Rover.

69. Greena and brown are my favorite colors.

70. I miss mom and dad.

71. I enjoy barnes and noble when I dont have any money. just go and read some lit.

72. I love airports.

73. I have a real star in the sky named after me. no lie.

74. I suck at parking my car, but great at driving it :)

75. I want to buy my mom a newer cadillac. the xlr couple one. she deserves it.

76. I love it when my parents tell me they are proud of me. that will never ever get old to me.

77. I love the smell of strawberries.

78. I will name my son, Zacariah or Ezekiel. if that ever happens. lol

79. I like taking baths.

80. I HATE shaving, its so time consuming.

81. I want to write a childrens book.

82. Im allergic to bananas.

83. I love listening to people with accents, its so sexy. haha

84. I will never own a van. sorry no soccer moms here.

85. I really enjoy Army Wives. even though its not all true.lol

86. I want to go to the olympics some day.

87. my favorite TV show growing up was Three's Company.

88. I really appreciate war movies.

89. I made an attempt to be a gardener, do over please?

90. my mom made me and my sisters watch sesame street growing up.. I think it helped.

91. I love tattoos and peircings.

92. I want Dereks initials on my ring finger one day.

93. Hollywood Blvd makes me uneasy. haha

94. My favorite band is Sanctus Real.

95. I hate cold weather, but some day I would love to make San Francisco my home.

96. I want to own a boat.

97. And meet a president.

98. Im a bookworm.

99. Im an overanalyzer.

100. Im 23 going on 36 wanting the best of life.. I have an amazing family, good friends.

FMF!!!!!

My amazingly super smart, talented husband passed his FMF exam portion today!!!!

Thats it today!


so proud of my husband!

Oh joy. the military

Great, never would have I thought that Derek would have to face another deployment until last night. currently Derek is in Bridgeport and his stupid chief keeps questioning all the sr line guys about extending for afghanistan, which is a buncha BS if you ask me. 3/5 isnt supposed to be heading out until oct/now. Derek gets out in Dec. Dec 10th to be exact. Well come last night Derek advised me that his chief is going to make every attempt possible to get the guys in another battalion who is onward to deploy for a spring deployment. if you ask me its crap and a half. Derek isnt too happy about this. and the bad thing about all of this is me and D have been planning on what we have lined up for our civi life..

not too much that my mind is dwelling on..

another one bites the dust.

So today marks the 48ish hours until I will see my husband again. I havent posted on this thing for qiute sometime. I have been so busy with school work its been insane. MY instructor is a "harvard" grad and she feels the need to put us through hell because she just can. BS. oh well, anyways I have one more week of this nonsense.

Not really much to update except that I am ready to have derek home now. :)

Brideport Training.

So, here we go again Marine Corps. Derek leaves on Saturday for Bridgeport training. for those of you civis out there, Brideport is located in the Sierra Nevada mountains.. Mountain Warfare Training to be exact. He will be gone a total of 22 days. yes I did 184 days, but still c'mon man. My husband is leaving me to go freeze his face off. The thing about this is they issued him special "snow" gear. and it is quite funny looking. He was issued these snow boots. they actually look about 20 inches long.. and they look like Mickey Mousse shoes.. they are WHITE boots at that! hahaha. We are slowly getting ready for this training, as he departs on Sat early monrning. Im gonna miss him. but I have to keep reminding myself its for a short time ~;). Thing about the Marines and Navy is they get the job done.. they arent like the Army, Army trains and trains forever and ever and they still dont get their training down. Airforce, Dereks dad is AF retired. wait, what does AF do? just kidding just kidding. :) dont take offense to that anyone, AF protects our skies.

Thats it for now.