In the last three months

In the last three months..

Well so much has changed in my life in the last few months and I don't even know where to begin.. So ill start right up until my husband departed from me. Feb of 2010 we were announced with the news that my husband would be deploying with 2/5. Before him being in 2/5 he was in 3/5 and him transitioning to another battalion happened within a blink of an eye. Nevertheless we both did what we had to do and we went with the flow, as soon as he transitioned that's when the news was announced he'd be heading to Afghanistan in less than a few weeks. Oddly enough, Derek decided to tell me this news on a Friday night, the night we went to file on 2009 taxes. As shockingly as it was I was a little disappointed not only because I wanted him home, but just because it seemed like he just got back from the his last deployment. Well, with him deploying so soon we had to figure out everything and what we were gonna do. So granted, my lovely amazing father and my awesome husband thought it would be best if I move back to Arizona for the time being, (without really telling me they decided that). I was so upset they decided this without consulting me, because I wanted to stay in SoCal, I had a great job I loved my instructors at school and I was set. So I was a little furious that they made the decision for me.. Well we had about 2 weeks to figure out what we were gonna do, well I ended up moving back to Arizona. Well, it was almost that time, and time flew by so fast, we ended up putting all of our belongings in storage, and I was heading home.. Well, Derek left on March 26th en route to Afghanistan, and on March 27th I began the long journey home, with our dog Molly Coco and a car full of the little things I needed. As time passed Derek landed in Ireland for a few days of having a flight lay over. And as I was trying to get my life squared away I instantly started missing him. Well, it was not too long that Derek officially arrived in Afghanistan and that's when it all started..

Weeks have finally started going by faster, I transferred from the southern california campus to phx and I was back on top of things. I heard from Derek often, and things were going good. I started watching my niece every single day. She's 6 months old now, and she has captured a piece of my heart that only she will ever have. In the last three months I've changed my decision about wanting to be a parent. Mariah has softened my heart beyond words. She has truly been a little inspiration to me, and because of her I want children! Ask me that last year about wanting kids I woulda punched you in your jugular. :-). But she has forever changed me.

On mothers day of this year, I asked my mother to forgive me of all the wrong I've done to her in my entire life. And to make me more accountable for my actions I asked her to forgive me in front of about 100 people. As I was asking my mother for forgiveness I cried, I have hurt her beyond words could possibly ever express and for that I am truly thankful for a mother who has never given up in her child, me. Since Mothers day of 2009 I am a forever changed woman.

In the past three months I have had to say bye to my awesome friends, watch some of them move home, get out of the military and some even help us pack our belongings for this deployment. Also, while being back in Arizona I learned that people change either for the better or for worse.. Most of the people that used to admire just aren't a part of my life anymore, and I'm totally okay with that now. Old friends die and new friends come.

With my husband gone, I have become better at a lot of things. I've become more independent on myself and doing things on my own. I'm not saying I don't need my husband, but just sometimes we need to go through a season to learn about yourself and watch yourself grow. And I've done that. I've changed a lot, a lot of my perspectives and desires. I have learned a newer meaning of love and marriage.

So, thanks deployment.. You've made my time well spent. As much as I hate you, thank you. I have an awesome family an absolutely amazing husband that I wouldn't trade for the world. I've learned things that take some married couples years to figure out. I've built more solid realtionships with my family that I've become more happy with life. I wake up in the morning with a smile on my face and a song in my heart. I've learned how to deal with the stressors that make people go crazy :-)

I miss you..

Today was one of those days where I did my hardest to stay busy. Didnt really help when all I was thinking of was you, and that smile that I am in love with. I'm trying to stay strong but I don't see this getting any easier right now. I just miss you, I mean I know it's only a couple months but man, today is one of those days where I just want to cry because you arent here to tell me everything is going to be okay. I'm having problems transferring to AZ with univ of phx. They told me that my account was in default and in order to transfer I need to pay everything in full. I dont know who people think they are when they tell people that crap... like I have thousands and thousands of dollars to just fork over.. I wouldnt have that problem that I'm having if I had a buttload of freaking money. Stupid people wont call me back, email me back. nothing. Stupid people make it hard for us students to finish an education when no one is helping them along the way. Anyways, Nothing else is really new except that I looked for jobs and posted my resume to a lot of great places. It took me about 2 hours to fill out the application for American Express. I even had to do a simulation to see how well I was with customer service. I hope someone calls me back soon... at least to get an interview so I know someone is looking at my resume.

Today I watched Mariah all on my own and I must say I got a good hand now changing really bad poopy diapers. She is getting so big. She is shaking her head yes and no now! it is so crazy. She stands on her own and wants to always be sitting up. She is so precious. I look forward to waking up in the morning just to hold her and be with her.. She makes my heart happy and I love her sooo much.


Today Molly Coco lost her first tooth! yes! poor dog was playing with her mouth like something was in it. When I decided to look I opened her mouth and there was a baby tooth hanging by like just a little bit.. I showed Vanessa and I told her to pull it.. and she did.. now our puppy is a little toothless.. I saved the tooth. Vanessa told me to send you her tooth in a letter. I thought that was kinda funny. Molly is getting so micheivious being around Lola and trouble. She doesnt listen for nothing. Its kinda funny, but then it's not because she doesnt pay attention.. lol. But either way, I love my lil cute puppy. She makes me soooo happy. and I love her sooo much too!

Anyways, I dont have anything else to really update or say except I miss you sooooo much! I love you beyond belief! you are the light of my life and I am so proud of you.

I love you ,
Bernadette

Missing my husband doesnt get easier

I really miss that wonderful man of mine. I have been trying my hardest to keep busy. Today I hung out with Chris, we went to B dubs LOL and watched Chris shop. Not too much today. Omg Molly is learning that she can bark at anything and everything just because she can and I wont do anything about it. She is sooo cute. Man I love my cute dog. She is getting so mischevious though that its cute. :)

Other than that, I forgot how much allergies I have when I am here. I feel like scratching my nose off when I am in the shower that is how bad I itch. It is horrible. plus, I am officially cutting back on the coffee that I am having major withdrawls. Its getting better but the headaches just make me want to sleep.

Update on nana. She is doing well, visited her today with Chris and she is improving drastically. The pics of her car are crazy. Everyone keeps saying we dont know how she is still alive. she is a miracle. Today she began her physical therapy. She was in so much pain but she is making progress. She asked me and chris to buy her gum. yes gum :) you know how she is.. :)

Other than that, I know Im blabbering but I dont have much to say tonight except I love you, I miss you terribly. :)

Molly Moomoo

It's crazy living back home, it's almost like everything went back to how it was.... except now I am married and have a little fur ball with me everywhere I go... and of course Derek isn't here currently. So yesterday I took Molly mo to get her first real hair cut and to the vet. I told the people at pets mart to call me if they needed me. well, they did call me to come get her... she was done but I knew that molly bothered them because the lady sounded irratated with Molly. I asked the lady what was wrong, she said we found out that Molly hates the blow dryer. :-) As much as I wanted to be mad a molly I smiled, she is so funny.. It's crazy how she has a personality similar to me.. fiesty. :)

anyways after the haircut I took Molly to the vet. We waited ( me and Christopher) for about 50 minutes to see the vet for 10 minutes. Anyways, while we waiting there was about 10 other dogs waiting to be seen by the same guy. Chris whispered into my ear and said, "The dogs in here sure do look like their owners." So true! fat lady in there with a obese dog being seen because he's weezing! Sorry to burst your bubble ma'am but the reason your dog is like that is because he is overweight. hahaha Another dog was big and tall, the Lassie dog.. You could tell she was sick, anyways her coat was so long it was dragging on the floor, she shook and stood up and (we counted) 7 ticks fall off the dog! nasty. People don't take care of their pets.. gross.. so after I saw the ticks and fur everywhere I kinda grossed myself out. I was disgusted by the time we left that place. Anyways, Molly is finally being seen and they tell me she has allergies and that I have to give her 12.8 miligrams of childrens benadryl twice a day... plus she has that kennel cough still.. and he gave me penicillian for her twice a day. But shes okay! she is caught up on shots until next year. :)

After I left the vet I went to mom and dads, sat outside with mom and let molly run around. I gave her, her medication of the benadryl and the penacillian. she did NOT like the Penacillian. She was running around playing around I think she got bit by somethitng or she had a reaction to the shots or the medicine I gave her. I dont know but she freaked me out like she normally does... buy dad said its probably because she had a stressful day of going everywhere.. but shes fine now.. that was my day yesterday.

Anyways today, loooked for a job. did homework and watched the baby. My nana lucy got into a car accident today. She had very serious injuries. She fractured 3 ribs and had some internal bleeding. I'm actually gonna be heading to the hospital right now with my sisters and dad.. mom is already there. I guess my nana went to south phx today and she was supposed to be back to the house early morning time, she didnt and my tata got worried and he didnt find out she was in a car accident until 2 o'clock pm. Then my mom called us and freaked us out too.

Well. I am off. I miss you so much its crazy. I am praying for you. stay encouraged and be strong. I love you so much

Round 2-Afghanistan!

Day 1.

Alright, so my husband has been gone for almost two days now. Let me tell you this time saying "I'll see you later" was not as nearly as hard as it was last deployment. I felt so at peace when I told my husband I'll see you soon. I actually felt joy in my heart when I saw him for the last time. I thank God for His peace. I know I have a mighty man. and he is a BA at what he does.

Anyways to go on.... I officially moved everything out of the apartment and into storage where our stuff will dwell for the next couple months. It was so easy at moving everything out then instantly I got overwhelmed because I was sooo tired! But it went well. After that I filled the car, took a movie back, got some cash, grabbed a bite then I was on my way EAST to our home state AZ!

Yeah! so I made it to AZ! and Molly Coco did well with the drive.. that little rascal loved the air touching her little mouth.. It was so cute, it was like she was trying to bite the air. It was soo cute. I love my dog, she has kept me on my toes, cleaning up her poopie and peepee everywhere.. shes like a little leaky faucet. But... I love my little leaky faucet, my lil poopie girl, my lil bald headed hairy princess. :)

I am really starting to miss my husband but I know he is okay. Lately, people have been asking me where is Derek? boy that sure pisses me off when they say sorry that he's over seas! DON'T say sorry~! I know they mean right but c'mon man!.


I love you Derek, With all my heart!

May God continue to be with you. Let him guide you. Remember, you are the light of the world. :)

So much to update on!

Ok, I have been so busy lately getting everything ready for Derek to leave. MY last day of work was on March 5th!. booooo. Since March 5th we have massively emptied our entire apartment! everything is in storage and packed away. Our last day in our apartment is March 25th! my how time flies by soo fast! Derek bought me a lil doggy! Her name is Molly Coco Gonzalez. She is 3 months old! she is a lhasa apso. And I love her soo much. She is the best little puppy that I have ever seen and she is mine! I took her to her first Vet's appointment and she has an ear infection in the right ear. and lately, well, within the last couple of days she has been coughing so much. almost like she is gagging. I told the vet and she said it doesn't hurt her? I think it still might be kennel cough but I just don't want her little body to be hurting. or for her to choke. I just feel so helpless. I want to help her and take it away.

Anyways, My D got another tattoo last weekend. 1 Samuel 17:52 on the inner arm on his right side. It is actually very nice. I like it. It represents him how he feels before leaving to Afghanistan.

Anyways, I cant think of anything else to update on... until next time.
Bernadette