Missing my husband doesnt get easier

I really miss that wonderful man of mine. I have been trying my hardest to keep busy. Today I hung out with Chris, we went to B dubs LOL and watched Chris shop. Not too much today. Omg Molly is learning that she can bark at anything and everything just because she can and I wont do anything about it. She is sooo cute. Man I love my cute dog. She is getting so mischevious though that its cute. :)

Other than that, I forgot how much allergies I have when I am here. I feel like scratching my nose off when I am in the shower that is how bad I itch. It is horrible. plus, I am officially cutting back on the coffee that I am having major withdrawls. Its getting better but the headaches just make me want to sleep.

Update on nana. She is doing well, visited her today with Chris and she is improving drastically. The pics of her car are crazy. Everyone keeps saying we dont know how she is still alive. she is a miracle. Today she began her physical therapy. She was in so much pain but she is making progress. She asked me and chris to buy her gum. yes gum :) you know how she is.. :)

Other than that, I know Im blabbering but I dont have much to say tonight except I love you, I miss you terribly. :)

Tonight, I cried

Reality hit this evening when I really thought about it.... My husband is actually in Afghanistan. Man oh man. Tonight was Thursday night bible study. And it was on
Proverbs 3: 5-6. "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.". I must say that this deployment is much more challenging than
Last deployment. My husband is in a war zone. I am so scared for some reason and I know I know I know I should really be trusting in God knowing that he is covered by God.
My heart broke tonight, as much as I don't want to think about it, the fact of the matter is, is that my husband is doing great things. Man I miss him soo much.
I must say that it is true... You don't realize how much you got until its gone, this is true on so many levels


I love you sweetheart! You are the light of my life,
The most amazin man that I have met

Xoxox

Molly Moomoo

It's crazy living back home, it's almost like everything went back to how it was.... except now I am married and have a little fur ball with me everywhere I go... and of course Derek isn't here currently. So yesterday I took Molly mo to get her first real hair cut and to the vet. I told the people at pets mart to call me if they needed me. well, they did call me to come get her... she was done but I knew that molly bothered them because the lady sounded irratated with Molly. I asked the lady what was wrong, she said we found out that Molly hates the blow dryer. :-) As much as I wanted to be mad a molly I smiled, she is so funny.. It's crazy how she has a personality similar to me.. fiesty. :)

anyways after the haircut I took Molly to the vet. We waited ( me and Christopher) for about 50 minutes to see the vet for 10 minutes. Anyways, while we waiting there was about 10 other dogs waiting to be seen by the same guy. Chris whispered into my ear and said, "The dogs in here sure do look like their owners." So true! fat lady in there with a obese dog being seen because he's weezing! Sorry to burst your bubble ma'am but the reason your dog is like that is because he is overweight. hahaha Another dog was big and tall, the Lassie dog.. You could tell she was sick, anyways her coat was so long it was dragging on the floor, she shook and stood up and (we counted) 7 ticks fall off the dog! nasty. People don't take care of their pets.. gross.. so after I saw the ticks and fur everywhere I kinda grossed myself out. I was disgusted by the time we left that place. Anyways, Molly is finally being seen and they tell me she has allergies and that I have to give her 12.8 miligrams of childrens benadryl twice a day... plus she has that kennel cough still.. and he gave me penicillian for her twice a day. But shes okay! she is caught up on shots until next year. :)

After I left the vet I went to mom and dads, sat outside with mom and let molly run around. I gave her, her medication of the benadryl and the penacillian. she did NOT like the Penacillian. She was running around playing around I think she got bit by somethitng or she had a reaction to the shots or the medicine I gave her. I dont know but she freaked me out like she normally does... buy dad said its probably because she had a stressful day of going everywhere.. but shes fine now.. that was my day yesterday.

Anyways today, loooked for a job. did homework and watched the baby. My nana lucy got into a car accident today. She had very serious injuries. She fractured 3 ribs and had some internal bleeding. I'm actually gonna be heading to the hospital right now with my sisters and dad.. mom is already there. I guess my nana went to south phx today and she was supposed to be back to the house early morning time, she didnt and my tata got worried and he didnt find out she was in a car accident until 2 o'clock pm. Then my mom called us and freaked us out too.

Well. I am off. I miss you so much its crazy. I am praying for you. stay encouraged and be strong. I love you so much

Round 2-Afghanistan!

Day 1.

Alright, so my husband has been gone for almost two days now. Let me tell you this time saying "I'll see you later" was not as nearly as hard as it was last deployment. I felt so at peace when I told my husband I'll see you soon. I actually felt joy in my heart when I saw him for the last time. I thank God for His peace. I know I have a mighty man. and he is a BA at what he does.

Anyways to go on.... I officially moved everything out of the apartment and into storage where our stuff will dwell for the next couple months. It was so easy at moving everything out then instantly I got overwhelmed because I was sooo tired! But it went well. After that I filled the car, took a movie back, got some cash, grabbed a bite then I was on my way EAST to our home state AZ!

Yeah! so I made it to AZ! and Molly Coco did well with the drive.. that little rascal loved the air touching her little mouth.. It was so cute, it was like she was trying to bite the air. It was soo cute. I love my dog, she has kept me on my toes, cleaning up her poopie and peepee everywhere.. shes like a little leaky faucet. But... I love my little leaky faucet, my lil poopie girl, my lil bald headed hairy princess. :)

I am really starting to miss my husband but I know he is okay. Lately, people have been asking me where is Derek? boy that sure pisses me off when they say sorry that he's over seas! DON'T say sorry~! I know they mean right but c'mon man!.


I love you Derek, With all my heart!

May God continue to be with you. Let him guide you. Remember, you are the light of the world. :)

So much to update on!

Ok, I have been so busy lately getting everything ready for Derek to leave. MY last day of work was on March 5th!. booooo. Since March 5th we have massively emptied our entire apartment! everything is in storage and packed away. Our last day in our apartment is March 25th! my how time flies by soo fast! Derek bought me a lil doggy! Her name is Molly Coco Gonzalez. She is 3 months old! she is a lhasa apso. And I love her soo much. She is the best little puppy that I have ever seen and she is mine! I took her to her first Vet's appointment and she has an ear infection in the right ear. and lately, well, within the last couple of days she has been coughing so much. almost like she is gagging. I told the vet and she said it doesn't hurt her? I think it still might be kennel cough but I just don't want her little body to be hurting. or for her to choke. I just feel so helpless. I want to help her and take it away.

Anyways, My D got another tattoo last weekend. 1 Samuel 17:52 on the inner arm on his right side. It is actually very nice. I like it. It represents him how he feels before leaving to Afghanistan.

Anyways, I cant think of anything else to update on... until next time.
Bernadette

Its time.

We have officially locked everything up in storage, my last day of work is this friday. March 5th. I am starting to let all of this get to me. But at the same time I have mixed feelings. The apartment is completely empty, the other day after work I just sat in my car until D got home cause I didnt want to be inside alone.

I know that all things work together for the good of those who love the lord. I am just so terrified and I know I shouldnt let this affect me the way that this all has. :) on the brighter note, I get to see the family this weekend. We are going back to Zona to drop one of the cars pff.

Anyways. Its about that time we start wrapping everything up in Cali. :(

Getting ready

So Derek will be leaving in a 2 week period. That means that we have to pack, relocate all of our belongings to Arizona. Im really sad that I have to do this, I thought the only time I'd be moving back to Arizona is with Derek when he seperated from Active Duty. Im really not looking forward into the next several months. I kinda made myself cry this afternoon when I "googled" news in Afghanistan. so much bad stuff is going on over there and I now have to worry for my husbands life and proctection. My stomach turns when I think about the life out there. I am teriffied to death and I cant contain it. What am I supposed to do without him here? how am I supposed to go with my everyday life knowing that my husband is out in harms way?

Here we go again Marine Corps

Get Some 2/5

For those of you who read my posts, I know some of you do.. but I was given news yesterday evening that The Husband will soon be leaving to Afghanistan. Never did I thought he would have to leave me again. So this was quite a shocker to the both of us, and completely unexpected. So we have so much stuff to do! like plan my living arrangements, get dereks gear list situated. and school stuff arranged for me.

Soooo. his is officially on his pre-deployment leave. great huh?

not too much to say about this subject except ohhrah.

Some interesting facts.

1. I hate anything minty.

2. Citrus and pepper make my allergies go crazy.

3. I get really bad headaches from certain spices. ie. pepper.

4. My mom said that I have a natural scent of cinnamon.

5. I yawn probably 50 times a day. even when I aint tired.

6. I was told by my mom I was dropped on my head when I was a baby, she says that only when I say ignorant things. :)

7. I love tea and coffee.

8. A good book is the way to my heart.

9. I enjoy praying. praying is like a hobby of mine. :)

10. I became an auntie on Dec 16th, 2009 to the most beautiful baby I have ever laid eyes on.

11. I am married to an amazing person who has really pushed me to get to where I am today.

12. I bite my nails, its a really nasty bad habit, and really un lady like. but Im trying to stop.. hey at least I dont smoke right!? :

13. I am the middle child of the family.

14. and probably the one who was most spoiled as a child.

15. I have a minor obsession with Guess watches. I own like 13 going on 27.

16. I love my wedding ring, its the most significant item I own.

17. I want to join the Marines, but my husband refuses to let me join.

18. I have some pretty remarkable friends. and the few I have I wouldnt change them for anything.

19. The person who has ever had to most influence in my life happen to be My pastor for life. Pastor Jim Brown.

20. I have a cadillac, no I'm not spoiled. Im just blessed with great things.

21. This is weird, but I am terrified of seaweed at the beach. I feel like it could just wrap my body up and drown me.. DONT LAUGH!

22. Im in school to be a dr. and with God ALL things are possible.

23. I am absolutely mortified to have a child, when that day comes.

24. I always wanted bigger lips. I want collagen.

25. I have some crazy stories about me as a child. crazy unbelievable stories.

26. my dream is to visit Eygpt one day.

27. My favorite cruse word, that I dont say is: Jag-off (a Chicago regionalism) ITS NOT BAD PEOPLE.

28. I hate, cannot stand chocolate but I have a sweet tooth anyday for butterfingers.

29. I hate sad movies.

30. I cannot function correctly if I do not have my morning coffee.

31. I get real worried when I think about my future. and my age.. lol

32. I love reading biographies.

33. I like learning new words. weird, yes.

34. I am secretly in love with Terrance Howard and Denzel Washington. Yes, my husband does know this. :)

35. I rarely remember my dreams. This has not always been the case.

36. I've laughed so hard that I've peed in my pants on several different occasions. last was with Brittany.

37. Obama should not be president. End of story.

38. I have always found books about serial killers interesting. I know weird huh?

39. one of several ongoing passions of mine is: driving.

40. My mother is one of th greatest singers that I have ever listened to. she amazes me everyday.

41. I love the sound of the ocean.

42. What turns me off: Close-mindedness, gossip meant to hurt somebody

43. The first word I learned to spell was: Transportation.

44. I hated long division math when I was a kid, actually, I still hate it.

45. I hate video games, last I played was with Derek from there on I had bad dreams about zombies chasing me.. Medal of honor I believe.

46. I like to sleep with 6 pillows.

47. I could by a pair of shoes every day if I could.

48. Orchids and red long stem roses are my favorite.

49. I love Davidoff Cool Water. dont get me started...... :)

50. I spent my 21st birthday in San Deigo with Derek. Thats all I can remember. haha.

51. I want to expierence a Mardi Gras. just once.

52. My last name is Gonzalez, and my husband is a white boy. strange huh! :)

53. I dont accept Michael Jackson being dead. HE is my favorite.

54. I cant stand when Im waiting in line and I can feel the person behind me breathing on me.

55. I hate being placed on hold.

56. I hate ironing.

57. I cant stand Spencer Pratt. that guy is a douche.

58. I love the Bee Gees beyond words.

59. people say Im strange. I dont get why? haha

60. I want to own a pool when I purchase a home.

61. I believe everything that the Bible says.

62. I guess I grind my teeth when I sleep. thats a no no.

63. I hate fastfood.

63. My sister Vanessa makes fun of my toes, she calls them french fries.

64. my baby sister will be a marine. some day.

65. I am so proud of my family. they are wonderful in every way possible.

66. I think Kim Kardashian is absoultely stunning.

67. I always wanted to own a pinto.

68. but then again, my dream car is a Range Rover.

69. Greena and brown are my favorite colors.

70. I miss mom and dad.

71. I enjoy barnes and noble when I dont have any money. just go and read some lit.

72. I love airports.

73. I have a real star in the sky named after me. no lie.

74. I suck at parking my car, but great at driving it :)

75. I want to buy my mom a newer cadillac. the xlr couple one. she deserves it.

76. I love it when my parents tell me they are proud of me. that will never ever get old to me.

77. I love the smell of strawberries.

78. I will name my son, Zacariah or Ezekiel. if that ever happens. lol

79. I like taking baths.

80. I HATE shaving, its so time consuming.

81. I want to write a childrens book.

82. Im allergic to bananas.

83. I love listening to people with accents, its so sexy. haha

84. I will never own a van. sorry no soccer moms here.

85. I really enjoy Army Wives. even though its not all true.lol

86. I want to go to the olympics some day.

87. my favorite TV show growing up was Three's Company.

88. I really appreciate war movies.

89. I made an attempt to be a gardener, do over please?

90. my mom made me and my sisters watch sesame street growing up.. I think it helped.

91. I love tattoos and peircings.

92. I want Dereks initials on my ring finger one day.

93. Hollywood Blvd makes me uneasy. haha

94. My favorite band is Sanctus Real.

95. I hate cold weather, but some day I would love to make San Francisco my home.

96. I want to own a boat.

97. And meet a president.

98. Im a bookworm.

99. Im an overanalyzer.

100. Im 23 going on 36 wanting the best of life.. I have an amazing family, good friends.