Dear Derek,
I will never forget the moment I found
out I was going to be a mommy. It was nerve wracking to say the least, and a
dream come true to say the most. While completely unexpected, having Zyana-Lee was
the single most beautiful thing that has ever happened to me.
I
remember just feeling like
something inside of me was different. I knew I was pregnant. My day ended at
work and I rushed on the freeway to hurry home, my gut feeling told me
something was different. I couldn’t help
myself so I pulled into Target, rushing I went and bought a pregnancy test
really hoping that it showed pregnant; and petrified at the same time thinking
this cannot be happening to me! I got home, did the test, anxiously
waiting. It was positive. For sure I thought the test was broken. As I shook the thing hoping it would take one
line away, I remembered I had another test.
15 mins later I took the other test. At 5:20 PM and at 5:45 PM on
January 17th, 2012 it was confirmed, I was pregnant.
I
was so scared. I was home alone. You were at the gym, I called you in a panic
telling you, “you need to come home.”
You came home, Vanessa and you were both in the kitchen and I broke the
news to you and Vanessa at the same time.
I can clearly remember the look on your face, your face said, “oh
Crap.” After about 5 minutes of bare
silence from you, you said everything is going to be okay.
The
next months were spent pouring over baby books and deciding on names. I wanted Zachariah or Ezekiel you wanted
Robert, a girl name clearly never occurred to us. It was about that time when we were going to
find out the sex of the baby. We were
expecting a boy, when the technician told us that she saw 3 little lines my
heart just about broke. We were having a
girl.
The
day that Zyana-Lee was born you transformed into the most amazing
father. You were there right from the start. I saw tears in your eyes as you
held your daughter for the first time. And you were eager to learn the basics,
even changing the first diaper. Not only were you there for her, but you were
there for me. For everything I needed, you stood by me and helped me through it
all.
I remember clearly our exhausted
nights, crying as I pumped and nursed at 3 am. You took Zyana- Lee and fed her
bottles, changed her diapers, and encouraged me to continue what I was doing.
Your encouragement for everything I do is amazing. You are my rock when I feel
like falling apart.
We
are raising a beautiful gorgeous 9 month old baby. I could not be happier sharing this parenting
journey with you. When I have needed you, you are there. When you need me, I am
there for you. So far we’ve fought
diaper rashes, high fevers, endless tiresome nights, and a whiny teething baby.
We continue to do so and you continue to amaze me. Seeing the way you and
Zyana-Lee laugh and play together is so beautiful. It brings tears to my eyes
to see how much our daughter loves you. Her little eyes light up second you
walk through the door
You
are a true blessing to our family. You work so hard to provide for us and only
ask for love in return. You teach us gratitude every day. You mean the world to
us. And we love you to the ends of the universe and back. Parenting with you is a true joy. We
are such a good team, Derek.
WE
love you,
Bernadette
& Zyana
Happy
first Fathers Day 2012
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