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Monday, January 16, 2012

This is Motherhood

Zyana is one month old.
This is Motherhood.. It is life in fast forward.  The moment you give birth life suddenly feels like it moves so fast that you can barely breathe, take a moment to relax and soak it all in.  Zyana has grown so much within these last 120 days that it makes me somewhat a little; on the side sad knowing how fast time is actually flying by.  Knowing each milestone that we pass is a milestone that has come and gone, awaiting for the next move, giggle, cry, poopy diapy, shots, roll overs she'll have.

I just want to wrap her up in my arms, inhale her sweetness, kiss her, love on her and pause time.  I just want to drown myself in her love, forever.

I've added some photos of her.. mostly of her sleeping and smiling.  I kinda think I am a little overly obsessed with taking pictures of her when she sleeps. :)  But I cannot help it.  she is beautiful and I want to share her beauty with the world.





















Tuesday, January 10, 2012

100 Things about ME

I have been sitting at work thinking of what I could write in my blog and the only thing I could come up with is things about me (the obvious and the not-so-obvious) things people know/ don't know about me. I made a "100 things about me", last Feb.. you can see it HERE

So here is my 2012 list.  :)


1.  I'm 25 years old. And my birthday is 11/03 and I absolutely hate it when people tell me that I'm "Scorpio". I don't believe in astrology, never will.


2. I love Jesus Christ with ALL my heart.

3. I'm married to a wonderful white boy named Derek Ray, who is 24 years old. (The White boy part is the obvious. LOL)

4. We have a beautiful little baby girl named Zyana-Lee Grace Gonzalez, and her name means "Blessing from Heaven". We named her after Derek’s grandmother Ann Lee who was born into this crazy world on September 25, 2011.

5. I was a Navy girl friend for 1 year, then turned Navy wife for 2 years, now turned civilian wife. I prefer Navy wife over civilian wife any day.

6. My husband and I have served two back to back deployments, Afghanistan, and I learned throughout the times he was gone to be the best wife I could ever be.

7. I take pride in knowing that I am one of the very few women who could say that their spouse served this country, and I do stand a little taller. :).

8. I am a middle child of 3 girls. Yes, 3 girls. Oh my poor dad.

9. My sister’s names are Vanessa Sanchez who is 27 and Angelica Rodriguez who just proudly turned 21.

10. My parent’s names are Steve and Maria Anguis. And God granted to me the best parents ever. Steve, (to the world's standards is actually my "step-dad" but to ME. He is OUR DAD.) My biological dad resides in Greely, Colorado and his life consists of drinking alcohol throughout every single day of his life, and has a girlfriend named Cassie who he refuses to marry, because he is still secretly in love with my mom. (I know, I know kinda daytime novellas)

11. I have 2 amazingly, absolutely beautiful nieces. Mariah Adrielle who just turned 2 years old. And Naomi Adriana who is a few months shy of 1 years old.

12. Before they were born, I never had any desire for children. Ever. Then God changed my heart. Forever. Now I want like 4 more kids.. How in the heck does it go from wanting none to at least wanting 5. :)

13. And now....I absolutely LOVE being a mother. It has been such an amazing time and I know it'll only get better.

14. I EBF... for someone who doesn't know what that means, it means, I exclusively breastfeed. And I like it.

15. I just graduated from the University of Phoenix receiving my Bachelors degree in Business.

16. I have a few pet peeves.  They include dirty bathroom tubs, sticky dirty tile floors, dirty dishes left in the kitchen sink, slow drivers and people who bite their nails.

17. Even though I am a woman, I cannot STAND shopping, especially for myself.

18. I LOVE shoes and BOOTS. My favorite shoe brands are Nine West, Bakers Shoes, Guess and ALDO.

19. In May of 2011, Derek and I bought our first house, and that was one of the biggest accomplishments that we have made thus far.

20. I'm a little on the obsessive side when it comes to reading blogs.

21. I love earrings. I own probably 60 + earrings. It’s sad that I can only wear 1 pair a day. :/

22. My Favorite movies of all time include, but are in no particular order:

The STAR WARS collection.

Glitter.

Win a date with Tad Hamilton.

Joseph.

The Bodyguard.

Good Fellas.

Ben Hur.

23. My Favorite actor is Terrance Howard. And my favorite actress is Natalie Portman.

My secret celebrity crushes are:

Denzel Washington

Lil Wayne

50 Cent

Gerard Butler

Natalie Portman

Scarlett Johansen

Mila Kunis

24. My Favorite colors are green, brown, and black. I hate purple and pink, even though those are pretty much the only colors my daughter wears.

25. My favorite brand of makeup is Urban Decay. That’s it, that’s all I'll wear.

26. I LOVE Reno 911 and JERSEY SHORE!

27. My favorite brands of clothing are New York & Company, Guess, Old Navy, Abercrombie & Fitch

28. My favorite stores are New York & Company, Old Navy, Ross, Target and Dillards.

29. I enjoy Nascar.

30. I love long hair and pretty nails.

31. I have a thing for big lifted trucks and nice shiny rims.

32. I love painting, decorating, water coloring and scrapbooking.  Sadly, I don’t nearly do any of them as much as I’d like to.

33. My husband and I teach the Jr. Youth at our church. We definitely have a passion for younger kids and teaching them the love of Christ.

34. My favorite bands and singers of all time include Michael Jackson and The Bee Gees and Queen.

35. I’m a very organized person, and everything in my house is labeled from my shoe boxes to my important documents.

36. I like to push people to do better.  There is nothing more awesome than pushing the people you love towards greatness.

37. I have an awesome family,  by awesome I mean my parents, sisters, brother in laws, and nieces.  Everyone else, extended wise are a bunch of the most dysfunctional people I have ever known.  I thank God that me, my sisters or my mom don’t fight  or argue to the point of not talking. 

38. I have a thing for Bath and Body works.  Their candles are to DIE for.

39. Candles in general are one of the most things I buy.

40. I have a dog, named Molly.  She’s a Lhasa Apso and likes to piss everywhere she’s not supposed to.

41. I like luxurious things.  Like Cadillac’s and Land Rovers.

42. I love clean floors and sanitized kitchen counters.

43. My shoe size is 6.

44.  I started my blog in 2008 when my husband was on his first deployment.  Every day I would write in it and he would read it when he could to know how things were going on this side of the world.

45.  I have a crazy, just a little, tiny obsession with makeup. I LOVE makeup, more of a fan of eye shadows and eyeliners.

46.  I don't like flushing the toilet.  And it BOTHERS my husband. (Yes, I am WEIRD and OPEN LOL)

47.  I love to make people laugh.

48.  I'm a sucker for horror movies, even the bad ones that feature Paris Hilton (The Wax House).

49.  I love pizza and wings.  It's better than dropping 60+ on a nice dinner.  :)

50.  Sometimes I can be a bit over emotional.  Shut up, don't judge.

51.  My favorite book growing up was, "If you give a mouse a cookie"

52.  I’ll write any day over reading.  I don't get how I earned a bachelor’s degree; cause it involved A LOT of reading.

53.  I love my American Express card.  Yes, a weird fact but I LOVE points!

54. I'm actually kind of a neat freak. It just...comes and goes. Sometimes I clean all night, just so I can wake up to a squeaky clean house.

55.  Anything seafood or fish related GROSSES me out.

56.  If I could have any voice narrate my life it would be Anthony Hopkins or Liam Neeson.  I LOVE their voices!

57. The only drug I ever tried was a cigarette. One time. It was the most disgusting thing I ever tasted.

58. I sing like a maniac in my car. It makes me feel like a rock star, even when I can't hit all the notes.

59. I hate being a woman 1 week out of every month. Ha.

60. I have a serious shoe fetish with extremely high heels and extremely pointy toes. So hot. But no, I have not mastered walking gracefully in them.

61.  One of my guilty pleasures is Hot Cheetos with lemon or Butterfingers. mmmm.

62.  People who make me laugh fascinate me. Especially when it’s a sarcastic or caustic remark that does it.

63.  I LOVE potatoes.  Bad.  Like I gotta have something potato related every week!

64. I like gardening, but everything I have ever attempted to grow has died.

65.  I love Christmas ornaments.

66. When I was younger, maybe 8.  My sister Vanessa and I were playing in a park (apparently we weren't supposed to be at that park because these black girls got mad and told us to leave.  Of course, me being me.  I didn't leave) and I got JUMPED! by 10, yes 10 black girls. While my sister Vanessa took off her shoes and ran HOME!!! She left me!  It wasn't funny at the time, but now when we talk about it, it is hilarious!

67.  I love Coffee!  and coffee creamer.  Irish crème, French vanilla. mmm.

68.  I hate ANY type of Pie.  Pie is gross!

69.  When I was younger my dad let us watch Children of the Corn, Freddy Kruger and Hell Raiser.  Couldn't sleep for months.

70.  I love photography, though I’m not talented to take pictures. I will jump in and have my picture taken any day! :)
71. I almost died, once.  Due to asthma.  I developed bronchitis and pneumonia at once.  It was a sad day.

72.  If I had any super powers I'd like to be invisible and read people’s minds.

73. My favorite fruits are pomegranates and plums.  Occasionally green grapes.

74.  Me and my husband share the same middle name, Ray.  Crazy but cool.

75.  I hate country music. 

76.  Though I ****NEVER*** wanted to get married, my wedding date was November 28th, 2008.  And truthfully, my husband has been a good man..(other than my daddy!)

77.   When I write I hold my pencil/pen so tight I get cramps in my hand.

78.  I have a thing about spices/ herbs.. And I am addicted to garlic.

79.  I can't go a morning without coffee.

80.  I take 5 medications a night.  Including the good ole birth control pill.. it better not fail me, LOL

81. I love scarves, even though I HATE turtlenecks or anything around my neck for that matter.

82. I absolutely LOVE being an auntie.  I can give them soda, chips, cookies and teach them to say mean things and then give them back to my sister and brother-in-law.  My brother-in-law says he can't wait until Zyana gets older so he can do the same thing.  Can we say PAY BACK?

83. I enjoy Christmas.  Decorating and getting all into the Christmas spirit just makes me happy.  Now that we have babies in the family... Christmas is all about them.  and I LOVE that.

84. I'm not a big fan of winter, actually I HATE the cold. 

85.  I addicted to the game Family Fued.

86.  I don't like going to the movies, but I do enjoy nice dining. 

87. I Love the smells of gas, rain, and beer.. even though I don't drink it.  It just smells good.  Sometimes I wish I could take a bath in it. LOL.

88. I'm not good at taking compliments well. 

89. I don't have good hand writing.  I have to write in cursive to make it look decent.

90.  I like to text rather than speak on the phone.

91. The only kind of sunglasses I will wear is aviator ones.

92. I think my daughter, and my nieces are the most beautiful little girls I have ever met.  But I AM bias.

93. My answer to every question I have is google.  I always say, "lets just google it" haha.

94. I can, but then I can't wait to have another baby.

95. If anyone buys be a gift, I always tell them a watch.  I like Guess watches... just sayin :)

96.  My dream vacation to go anywhere in the world would be Egypt.

97.  The first word I learned to spell was: Transportation. 

98.  I love pillows.  I'll choose cuddling with a pillow over my husband any day.  Kinda sad huh? LOL

99.  I'm kinda cynical and sometimes complacent.

100.  My name is Bernadette and I’m a bit on the sarcastic side. And most times I speak too much, hurt people’s feelings, step out of my bounds.  But one thing I know is that I’m true to myself.  I’m judged for who I am, how I look, and what I believe.  But that’s okay to me, because one thing is for sure.  I will probably be the most honest/blunt/outspoken person you’ll ever come across..  I'm a wife, a daughter, a mother, a sister and an aunt. I'm honest and open.  I enjoy the simple things in life like having my family around chomping on pizza and wings watching Joe Dirt for the hundredth time, all sitting around laughing like its a new movie to us.  I cry, I laugh.  Life gets hard, marriage has its up's and downs.. But this is me.  :)

I can’t really think of anything else to add. But When I do I’ll update my list.