In the last three months

In the last three months..

Well so much has changed in my life in the last few months and I don't even know where to begin.. So ill start right up until my husband departed from me. Feb of 2010 we were announced with the news that my husband would be deploying with 2/5. Before him being in 2/5 he was in 3/5 and him transitioning to another battalion happened within a blink of an eye. Nevertheless we both did what we had to do and we went with the flow, as soon as he transitioned that's when the news was announced he'd be heading to Afghanistan in less than a few weeks. Oddly enough, Derek decided to tell me this news on a Friday night, the night we went to file on 2009 taxes. As shockingly as it was I was a little disappointed not only because I wanted him home, but just because it seemed like he just got back from the his last deployment. Well, with him deploying so soon we had to figure out everything and what we were gonna do. So granted, my lovely amazing father and my awesome husband thought it would be best if I move back to Arizona for the time being, (without really telling me they decided that). I was so upset they decided this without consulting me, because I wanted to stay in SoCal, I had a great job I loved my instructors at school and I was set. So I was a little furious that they made the decision for me.. Well we had about 2 weeks to figure out what we were gonna do, well I ended up moving back to Arizona. Well, it was almost that time, and time flew by so fast, we ended up putting all of our belongings in storage, and I was heading home.. Well, Derek left on March 26th en route to Afghanistan, and on March 27th I began the long journey home, with our dog Molly Coco and a car full of the little things I needed. As time passed Derek landed in Ireland for a few days of having a flight lay over. And as I was trying to get my life squared away I instantly started missing him. Well, it was not too long that Derek officially arrived in Afghanistan and that's when it all started..

Weeks have finally started going by faster, I transferred from the southern california campus to phx and I was back on top of things. I heard from Derek often, and things were going good. I started watching my niece every single day. She's 6 months old now, and she has captured a piece of my heart that only she will ever have. In the last three months I've changed my decision about wanting to be a parent. Mariah has softened my heart beyond words. She has truly been a little inspiration to me, and because of her I want children! Ask me that last year about wanting kids I woulda punched you in your jugular. :-). But she has forever changed me.

On mothers day of this year, I asked my mother to forgive me of all the wrong I've done to her in my entire life. And to make me more accountable for my actions I asked her to forgive me in front of about 100 people. As I was asking my mother for forgiveness I cried, I have hurt her beyond words could possibly ever express and for that I am truly thankful for a mother who has never given up in her child, me. Since Mothers day of 2009 I am a forever changed woman.

In the past three months I have had to say bye to my awesome friends, watch some of them move home, get out of the military and some even help us pack our belongings for this deployment. Also, while being back in Arizona I learned that people change either for the better or for worse.. Most of the people that used to admire just aren't a part of my life anymore, and I'm totally okay with that now. Old friends die and new friends come.

With my husband gone, I have become better at a lot of things. I've become more independent on myself and doing things on my own. I'm not saying I don't need my husband, but just sometimes we need to go through a season to learn about yourself and watch yourself grow. And I've done that. I've changed a lot, a lot of my perspectives and desires. I have learned a newer meaning of love and marriage.

So, thanks deployment.. You've made my time well spent. As much as I hate you, thank you. I have an awesome family an absolutely amazing husband that I wouldn't trade for the world. I've learned things that take some married couples years to figure out. I've built more solid realtionships with my family that I've become more happy with life. I wake up in the morning with a smile on my face and a song in my heart. I've learned how to deal with the stressors that make people go crazy :-)

I miss you..

Today was one of those days where I did my hardest to stay busy. Didnt really help when all I was thinking of was you, and that smile that I am in love with. I'm trying to stay strong but I don't see this getting any easier right now. I just miss you, I mean I know it's only a couple months but man, today is one of those days where I just want to cry because you arent here to tell me everything is going to be okay. I'm having problems transferring to AZ with univ of phx. They told me that my account was in default and in order to transfer I need to pay everything in full. I dont know who people think they are when they tell people that crap... like I have thousands and thousands of dollars to just fork over.. I wouldnt have that problem that I'm having if I had a buttload of freaking money. Stupid people wont call me back, email me back. nothing. Stupid people make it hard for us students to finish an education when no one is helping them along the way. Anyways, Nothing else is really new except that I looked for jobs and posted my resume to a lot of great places. It took me about 2 hours to fill out the application for American Express. I even had to do a simulation to see how well I was with customer service. I hope someone calls me back soon... at least to get an interview so I know someone is looking at my resume.

Today I watched Mariah all on my own and I must say I got a good hand now changing really bad poopy diapers. She is getting so big. She is shaking her head yes and no now! it is so crazy. She stands on her own and wants to always be sitting up. She is so precious. I look forward to waking up in the morning just to hold her and be with her.. She makes my heart happy and I love her sooo much.


Today Molly Coco lost her first tooth! yes! poor dog was playing with her mouth like something was in it. When I decided to look I opened her mouth and there was a baby tooth hanging by like just a little bit.. I showed Vanessa and I told her to pull it.. and she did.. now our puppy is a little toothless.. I saved the tooth. Vanessa told me to send you her tooth in a letter. I thought that was kinda funny. Molly is getting so micheivious being around Lola and trouble. She doesnt listen for nothing. Its kinda funny, but then it's not because she doesnt pay attention.. lol. But either way, I love my lil cute puppy. She makes me soooo happy. and I love her sooo much too!

Anyways, I dont have anything else to really update or say except I miss you sooooo much! I love you beyond belief! you are the light of my life and I am so proud of you.

I love you ,
Bernadette

The Start of a New Year.

After being married to the man that I admire with my whole heart is still learning a grip load of stuff about me.. since he was gone for the majority of last year... we werent here to "know know" each other or we just forgot. lol either way. Just wanted to say that 2010 is going to be the best year for us. in officially in 11 months we are out of the military life. For Good. and I cant wait to move back to Arizona and start my own family. :) Is it weird planning in your mind how you picture your future house to be? or how you want your walls painted and how you want to decorate each room? well, I do! there is nothing wrong in my opinion with speaking LIFE into your life. :) my momma taught me that.


Anyways. update on our baby girl. Mariah Adrielle is doing Fabulous. She is now officially at 13 pounds.. and yes, she is only 2 weeks old.. shes our little monster.. mom is always mooing. :) here is a picture of her.

Its been a long while!

I've been thinking about updating this blog for quite some time.. and boy things have definately changed since July. Since July, my awesome, most fantastic husband has returned home from overseas. He came back at the end of August. :) Another big milestone in 2009 was my older sister had the first baby of the family. We welcomed Mariah Adrielle Sanchez into our family on December 16th 2009. She is absolutely a gorgeous baby, I could stare at her all day long. Other than that. WE are doing well. School is good and Christmas was GREAT. God has beyond blessed us with a wonderful supportive family that is always pushing, supporting and encouraging us. Derek and I are standing on God's promises and speaking blessings for 2010. WE stand in agreement that we WILL own a house by the end of 2010.

I dont have much to update but as far as 2010 I am going to keep this updated for my family so they can stay in the loop with us.

Bernadette