Thursday, February 9, 2012

My Love, Hate relationship with Breastfeeding & Pumping

I'm beginning to get quite irritated with all these pumps, bottles, nipples, bottle caps, pump bottles and all those other accessories that are needed to feed and supply for my daughter. I get annoyed defrosting milk, storing milk, pumping milk.. figuring out if milk went good or bad... that's all too much for me, especially when I work full time, as does Derek AND he goes to school full time. I took an extra day up at church, now going Weds to be apart of the prayer team.. WHILE doing things throughout the week AFTER work gets a little exhausting.. I kid you not. Sometimes I wish I could be a stay at home wife/mom... but the other part of me thanks GOD that I have the ability to work and provide and pull my own weight.

When it comes to pumping I literally feel like a cow being milked when I sit down, but I know it is something that I have to do.. frequently. I take my pump with me EVERY PLACE I GO!. it gets tiring sometimes, but it is something that I have to do, for this girl right here. (Hence the shirt, which I LOVE).

Zyana-Lee is growing everyday, and by growing I mean mentally and physically. And it SCARES me. Today marks my almost-to-five-months-for-breastfeeding. ALMOST SILVER BOOBIES... For those of you who want to know what I mean by 'Silver boobs' find out HERE And I must say that I am so excited that I have made it thus far. The first few weeks of Zyanas life made my womanhood a nightmare. I had no problems latching.. just producing. Almost to the point of me just giving up and giving into the EVIL. Formula. It was heartbreaking, to say the least to think that I'd have to give up and find other means of feeding her.

Pride is something that I feel like I can allow, considering that every day is an awesome milestone in breastfeeding. Recently my breastfeeding relationship has become very.... love-hate. One minute I love it and the next minute I am pissed off about something having to do with it.  Like.... time, and leaking boobies. LOL Am I going to stop? or give up? Nope, but man some days it just feels nice to vent a little about it... right?

HATE: Leaking

Some days.. I leak. Mostly in my sleep. Those stupid breast pads don't work for nothing. Mostly, I just hate them.

HATE: Pumping

I really hate pumping, its so freaking time consuming. Throughout my day I pump. Just at work I pump 4 times, sometimes at home I pump about the same. I mostly hate it because I have to lug this big ol black leather over the shoulder bag.. When people ask me what it is, my response is, "its a laptop bag"... Not to mention it totally makes me feel like a cow. Literally. :)

LOVE: Bonding

There is absolutely nothing more precious to look down and see my little girl get chunky. :) I'd have to say that nursing is one of the best feelings in the world.

LOVE: Stored milk.

The inventor who made storage bags for milk should be given a nice hefty check! The fact that I can pump and freeze it for a later date is just amazing to me. Or when I'm not with Zyana, Derek can feed her with that stored milk. Recently, we began mixing cereal with it. and she HATES IT that way. :)

LOVE: Weight Loss
For me, thankfully I was all belly.  Although still a little squishy my face SURE has shrunk.  Other areas are still in progress :)

I know this isn't true for all breastfeeding moms, but man...Breastfeeding for me has been one of the most easiest ways for me to loose weight. without doing anything! It's been 4 months since Zyana has been born and I've lost close to 40 pounds. :)

My daughter has rolls, rolls, and more rolls.  I just don't see why there are skinny babies, FEED THE BABY! (I know there are some health problems that prevent babies from gaining weight. ) ~ :) lol.  It is OKAY for a baby to be fat and chunky!.

Here's Zyana-Lee.  Hence the leg ROLLS. :)  Don't mind the scary face. LOL

Knowing that I AM the reason that my daughter is healthy motivates me to continue to breastfeed. Those adorable little rolls and baby cellulite was made by me! I MADE THOSE ROLLS! My breast milk made those adorable little roles of cuteness. BEST FEELING EVER!


  1. "Mom Sandals" :)February 10, 2012 at 10:22 AM

    Awww, this is the first time reading one of your blogs and I've gotta say, it's refreshing to hear someone else's struggles/experiences with breastfeeding. At the end of the day, its for the best cause.

  2. Hi! It is so hard sometimes! I'm glad that other moms can relate. People see the good but not the ugly. It does get hard. But all for a good cause! :)