Monday, June 18, 2012

Love Story Part 3

We are now back in California. Living separately.. Our plan was to get an apartment together and we began looking. So we get an apartment, we move in together. It was so strange. I have never lived with a male, let alone my dad. The toilet seat was left us, combat boots by the front door and camis laying everywhere, but I loved it. We were married and that's what mattered. I was wrong and still my parents had NO idea we were married, let alone living together. Christmas time was here. Derek was on leave and I took vacation so we could visit Arizona. And we did, yet again everyone questioned my now 2 rings. Again I was still denying the fact that was married. Christmas is now over and my parents were planning to visit. They had NO idea that Derek and I were EVEN LIVING TOGETHER! I felt like I was living a lie, and I was.
 
Now onto the part of telling my parents. My parents arrived to California bringing me all my furniture from home. I knew it was time to reveal to my parents that we were in fact already married. My heart was torn I knew that I was going to break their hearts. They finally arrived in the evening time. We had dinner and we were all conversing.. My dad bluntly asked us, "Are you married?" my head immediately fell down cast, he somehow already knew. And when my dad asked this, Derek smiled and said, "Do want the truth or a lie?" of course my dad wants the truth! And Derek proceeding to tell him that we were in fact married. My mom soon began to cry and my dad said OK, he didn't look mad but I knew his heart hurt. The remaining weekend they were there seemed very odd, my mother was distant was crying at random moments throughout the day. My dad was okay. It was a weird feeling. I felt like I betrayed them and their trust. I was lying this whole time to them. After the weekend they departed back to Arizona and Derek and I were on Pre-Deployment mode. He was leaving me en route for his first deployment. I was sad and depressed at the same time, we were newlyweds and he was leaving me three months after getting married.
 
It was now D-Day time. It was a sad day, I didn't think that I had anymore tears to cry, my eyes hurt, my head pounded and most of all I was heartbroken. My husband was leaving me. Then, he was gone. My whole heart left, just like that. What was I supposed to do? I was so consumed in my husband that I forgot and lost my first love Jesus Christ. This whole time I was leaning on my husband when I should have been depending on Christ. It was a lessened learned.
 
I soon got my act in order and got back to that place I needed to be in God. It was reassuring. I knew that God placed Derek in my life for that purpose, to be my husband. In spite of everything that we did wrong along the way, we fixed it. I believe that we went through everything we did to get to where we are today. Marrying a ungodly man who you "think you can change" doesn't work all the time. I put my whole faith in Christ and he made a way and SAVED MY HUSBAND from the INSIDE OUT!  
Our marriage is such a tremendous and wonderful gift from God! It has blessed my life in ways that I could never explain. I believe it has been so wonderful because I was already completely and utterly satisfied in my relationship with the Lord, and thus my relationship with Derek and our marriage has become about the glory of God, not about each other. Instead of finding fulfillment in Derek I found in him an incredible gift from God that daily turns my attentions back toward Jesus. I love that our God is a jealous God. He longs so much for our affections that He won’t give us anything that will threaten His place in our hearts. The more we desire a guy, the more reason it gives Him not to give it to us, because we are tempted to be more satisfied with the guy than with Him.
 
I am doing LIFE with this man. This is the man that God created especially FOR ME. And I am so grateful that he is just that. In spite of his flaws I love him, I am so in love with him. We argue, we have heated conversations (fights) but we love each other. :D

 
If you are discouraged today because God has not brought "the one" yet, may I challenge you to stop waiting on the Lord to bring you a guy and realize that you are already a bride! You are the Bride of Christ! The title "bride" implies there is a wedding to come. Without the wedding, there would be no bride. Don’t let your heart be distracted by from Jesus, your groom. It is easy to let lesser lovers take His place, so be ready to always cast them away and pursue Jesus. We have an incredible wedding feast to look forward to: the day we are united with Christ. He is our first love and he is waiting to hear from you day in and day out. His thoughts for you outnumber the grains of sand and He has numbered all the hairs on your head! The Lord will be faithful to give you the great love story that you desire, just know that it won’t be found in a man, but in Jesus! Trust in the promises of God, for He who promised is faithful (Hebrews 10:23).
 

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